Was supposed to meet collegues for dinner at Brewrekz today and was actually kinda looking forward to it, but Mel was feeling kinda tired so i cancelled as well.. for the thought of forced conversations chills me..esp wif other pple i dun know well.. Am i anti social by natural? just read somewhere abt depression for the young.. how sufferers shut themselves at home and slowly ends up cutting themselves out from the outside world.. Advice given: accept all invitations.. Easy given.. hard to follow. Nah... I'm just feeling down.. Why?
hmm... Work pals come and go.. esp at work where staff are posted ont monthly.. Guess I'm feeling down coz mine kakis at work are posting out tom.. their last day at wlds..I feel fatigue.. in having to form new bonds and making new fres, partially becoz of the speed in posting. I foresee lonely lunches n dinners whereby I will retreat into a corner at the rest room.. no more kopi chat sessions at work.. breakfast breaks. having company made the horrible food bearable.. now? the canteen food simply sucks.. big time.
Proximity fres.. as I have read before.. you become close to them because you are constantly in their company. Its the distance thingy. Once out of sight, out of mind. Reality is sinking in that Mal and Peng are such. many factors to.. peng would be in Charlie.. and that timing i would be meeting dearie and mel would be busy wif her new found romance and the timing would clash to as L is in Alpha. Great foresight tells me that we would never meet .. though mel and peng still can i guess. Perhaps too.. that wall which i have built to protect myself will become thicker will very phrase..
Perhaps that's life.. you meet diff pple during diff points in time.. and to be grateful for that. or perhaps i am sadden too that I've not met up wif han and hui for sometime. Everyone's very busy i guess.. coping wif their jobs, romances . This leaves me to ponder... have the Girly gang i used to call my own , proximity girly pals too? I admit, I dun make fres easily.. unlike the the other pastries who are more extroverted. Hmm.. Guess on the surface, one can indeed seen to have many fres.. but veri little soul mates. Hmm.. am i complaining? or suffering from quarter life crisis again?! Periodically?! Or simply depressed but in self denial?! I miss my uni days wif the Pastries n ens pple.. thankfully at least i have my dearie now..
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