Gals Nite Out

been so buried in work that i forgot there's a Public Holiday this week. Sometimes i wonder, if you stop to chat with the workmates less, walk around less, maybe productivity would increase.
Oh wellz..

met up with the gals. Irin & An joined us for this round. We met for dinner at Sun with Moon. Everyone seems to be later then usual. normal knock off- meeting up time is now 8-9pm. late dinners. I din want to be the earliest, so i left office at 8. The B said i only needed to hand in that urgent report on friday, first thing in the morn.. hee.. so off for dinner i went..

forgot it was Hui's Hatchday on 31st. We got her a cake from nydc next door. Oreo Cheese. The selection of items was extensive. An, Irin & I chose the same item. Beef & Foie Gras Kamameshi. One of their chef's recomendation. The beef simply melts in your mouth and the foie gras was good. Topped over the steamed rice.. the combi quite goes. Jinny chose the tempura soba. Han had the grilled pork kamameshi. Everything looks yummy. Although I found my sesame five grain soup dessert with rice cake a tad too sweet. Will def bring the dear one here to try out the other items and creative desserts like tofu cheesecake and strawberry redbean pancake..yum!

we went to Merriott for after dinner drinks. Had Hui's cheesecake too, as we were disallowed to consume the cake at the resturant. silly rules. i must say i quite like the lounge there. we most prefer quiet cosy water holes rather than noisy crowded ones. they shared a bottle of red. i had ice latte as i din felt like drinking. Jin's hubby and An's Guang joined us too.

its was kindda funny actually. most of the bunch are up & coming bankers. offshore banking. loans. credit. cash mgt accounts. local vs foreign banks. Hui just had an interview for a marketing position with citi. Means she may become half a banker. Shicks.. that leaves only me, serving the gahmen and getting peanuts. and An, the journalist who is an economist by training. can't deny that banking pays. After all, Investment Bankers are the most highly paid last year. i hope Hui gets the job. it'll mean a huge huge pay jump for her. it also shows the huge pay diff between the public sector and the public sector. many says you serve the public not for the monetary rewards, but somehow you could not help feeling lacking. Bukit Timah addresses and the chi chi life. i will prob only be getting wat Hui stands to get as a starting pay, 10 years down the road. what motivates me? Singapore dreaming? or a meaningful existance with the simple?

this bunch is def diff from my jc group. that bunch is more heartlanderish. the conversation is diff, expectations and outlook too. Just like my soci mates are more into quality of life. maturity of thoughts and the theoratical. the exploration for the defination of society and the deconstruction, construction of self and issues related to the abstruct. totally diff from my econs mates with their dollars and sense. i tread between these groups, yet at times i just wanna struck a balance of all. am i asking for too much? herein lies the dilemma. wat i want out of my life? at times i ponder. The crux is contentment. this i have to search for. silly old me..

The dear one's birthdae

It was literally candle light fried chicken dinner at everyone's fav fast food resturant.

The dear one forgave me for being late. Was struck in office because the system was down. A system that is at the end of its technical life span. Someone was joking that the systen noes we are abandoning it soon.. Oh well.. there goes our movie.

Dun get anything else for him apart from that shirt so long ago. Oh shacks..
Went walking around the estate. Ate snacks. Play with the cute nephew.
Dinner with his family. Cake cutting at his place.
Simple birthday. Diff from the BBQ & Chalet of last year.
Will do something special next year. i promise..
2 days away from work. wow hoo!! tom its work and work again.. ;p

Pay Revision?

woke up to news that there would be pay revisions for fresh grads

what the fishz? it means that that new rookie would be earning more than me?!

after slogging for nearly 3 years, under paid and overwork?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

understand the org may be slow in responding to the changes.. but my patience is running thin.. if there are still not suitable adjustments to our pay, i guess its no great oppt cost to me if i were to start afresh elsewhere..

many in the same batches as us, who were employed in recent years, are stuck in the same situation. having worked for a no of years, if we do not move soon, we are likely to remain stagnant.. in the same job.. and the 'recession' pay we are getting is aggrevating matters in post recession economy..

all things being equal, the oldies have always been paid more, the rookies too, lots more at that.. we are the sandwiched batches, neither here nor there.. victims of circumstances.

haiz.. that said, moving on requires lots of faith, in the ability to find something better.

Melancholic Week

2 deaths in the past week and long long working hours seem to have taken its toll on me..

one an old school mate whom i noe of.. he's a nice chap.. the abruptness of life ..
fate seems cruel sometimes, for he had a bright future.
A freak accident it feels like.
Can't help feeling shivers. For it could be me or anyone else am close to.
If I were to leave, i have anythings i wanna do..and have not done..

the other is the husband of a collegue.
his passing mirrors that of my fav teacher's husband
also no signs and without warning
i should spent my time with my mummy
for one can never predict accurately when a loved one may leave
me mummy laments that she's getting old
i noe her health is not as good as before..
i wanna spent more time with my loved ones.. i really do..

.. hmm.. but my supposedly inefficent self means i have loads of work
and deadlines that i cannot adhere to..
challenging work.. but hard to balance ground operations with staff work at times
we are overly stretched.. there should be more defined jobscopes for us,
the higher mgt tries, i hope..
the only section that works longer than the other sections, due to high cyclic renewals for services.. i think i'm starting to feel inadequte, to dread the crowds..
to fill the expectations and standards labelled on us because of the seniority of our positions
1am sleeping time.. to drag myself out of bed at 6am. 6 days week. yesterday i completely zonked out by 9pm.. after the heavy dinner. Brought work home, but can't seem to make myself work. Slept most of today away.. shaicks..

time is living me..
yet i promise i must treasure my loved ones more,
haiz...

its the dear one's bithday on tuesday..
and i have not planned anything special,
not a good galfreie.............
maybe a short getaway next year..
i promise... really..

A quite nice poem from my current read

Boast of Quietness - Jorge Luis Borges

Writings of light assault the darkness, more prodigious than meteors.
The tall unknowable city takes over the countryside.
Sure of my life and my death, I observe the ambitious and would like to understand them.
Their day is greedy as a lariat in the air.
Their night is a rest from the rage within steel, quick to attack.
They speak of humanity.
My humanity is in the feeling we are the same voices of the same poverty.
They speak of homeland.
My homeland is the rytham of a guitar, a few portraits, an old sword, the willow grove's visible prayer as evening falls.
Time is living me.
More silent than my shadow, I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.
They are indespensable, singular, worthy of tomorrow.
My name is someone and anyone.
I walk slowly, like one who comes from so far away he doesn't expect to arrive.

======================================================
Somehow to relate to the emptiness, alienation caused by the paper chase, of the insignificance of thy self in modernisation and globalisation..

Ahem.. Back after a short absence

Din realise that time just flow by.. quite comfy and settled in the new section.. enjoying normal workin hours.. although the hours are long long long.. can't seem to be able to finish my work on time.. and 7pm knock off time is becoming the norm.. i seem to have been buried by the motions of work. No time to smell the roses, to enjoy the musky bleeze after the rain, nice songs that touch me so, and the simple things that i used to enjoy so..

This past one week was pure heaven, my Vietnam trip with the dear one and mama ,and the days of blissful sleep.. strange, that things I used to like, like enthic bags and little stuff, no longer touch me as much as they did during my last trip to HCMC.. rather, it was the simplicity of being able to explore the nooks and crannies of the raw city that tags at my heart.. yes.. 5 months without a break and my travels have left me deviod of the little pleasures i enjoy so much..

That said, I am nevertheless challenged by the work that is thrown to me at the new work unit, the chance to write papers, implement projects, challenge myself for self developement. Many many projects upcoming for the later half of the year and its a challenge to follow rem through. The skills that i will acquire at this work unit is forever mine for keeping.. the little boss is an affable person, but the big boss's moods and tides leave me feeling thrown and beaten. If I can find another job which interests me, i will move, i think... the feeling of inertia scares me.. the knowledge that if i take no action for this year, i will prob be bounded by many factors to stay on this job.. Work life balance? I hope i dun burn out so soon..esp when i clearly do not enjoy certain aspects of the job.. hummp.. piity that i am fairly certain i will do okay well if i stay on...

Next vacation is prob only in Sept, if i am unable to make it for the white water rafting trip to malaysia.. fingers crossed.. and the club med bintan trip in july due to the major project in june.. ;p