Atas Laksa & Hor Fun

Met up with Fen for dinner yesterday. i'm quite a no heart fre, for i always cannot remember her birthday.. Fen wanted to eat @ Conrad Centennial Hotel. Oscars Restaurant. So we had very ex local cuisine there, with Fen ordering the Laksa and moi having the Beef hor fun.. the entire bill for the meal was almost $90 bucks before discount. (Fen had a $30 voucher, so deduct that away).

(photo taken from my new pink camera.. ;p)

Hee hee, the ambiance of the restaurant was okay, although i thought Aquarmarine at Marina Mandarin was better in terms of value for money.. its actually quite enjoyable to find a great dining place whereby you can chat and catch up over a meal, away from the blustering madness of the city.. our next stop would be The Rose Veranda at Shangri-La Hotel for weekday afternoon english tea, whereby both of us are enjoying the short hiatus from the work life.. fen to study, and moi to the new workplace.. my countdown calender stands at 9.5 more workdays. Hip Hip Horayz. silly old moi.

Pink Camera

Yipee.. after so so so many years, i've finally gotten a camera to call my own ( and the dearie's too.. opps).. and its a pretty bright pink too. quite pleased with my sony T90 ( although i had wanted to the the LX3.. ;p).

hee hee.. many many of us are shopping at the great IT shows, for freebies galore. i got a free dvd player, extra battery etc with my camera.. moi is happie babe ;p

a Sat of Blog Reading

the dearie is away for his ICT and will only be back on Sundayz.. and little old moi made my way to the in-laws place, for the dearie is afraid that lazy moi would be alone..( mummie's on weekend getaway cruise).. i'm blessed, for the mum-in-law and dad-in-law are wonderful people..

without the dearie to cajole for the comp with moi, i've been able to do a fair bit of web-surfing, blog reading. the more blogs i read, the more i feel that babes of the same generation share similar likes/dislikes , desires, aspirations.. so beri much the products of our time..i'll be interesting to follow the blogs thru the decade to see how each person's thoughts have evolved with the tide of time..

at work today, the colleague and moi were whining chatting on the flaws and short comings of the workplace.. and it dawn on me that many a times, our responses reflect the current position we are in. Moi, i am the olddie about to leave in 3 weeks time who could not really be bothered to keep up appearances. the colleague is resigned to status quo and working as a means to earn more money for her own self, the boss is the up and coming mouthpiece of the higher mgt with great hope in climbing the corporate ladder. hence, the need for him to keep up the 'i'm shoulderin the burden of this unit and have to ensure every single thing is in order" kind of attitude. moi, i am the " i am forced to be here because the org has deem it necessarily, so please dun expect too much from me" attitude while the colleague has the " i'm gonna be here for a long time but has no hope for promo in the next few years" attitude. this has shaped our positions and responses to work. so different from my attitude of " i'm here to climb the ladder so i have to be exemplary" kind of behaviour i had when i first joined the unit. this was the same for the old boss, whom had tried very hard to manage the big unit but was found lacking by the big boss. when he finally gave up trying, he was no longer the nervous whack of a mgr he had been in the early days ..well, the old boss was blessed, he's now having a great time at his new posting after being transferred out forcefully.. understanding boss and work life balance.. i truly believe that we are all blessed in diff ways..

hee, am i justifying my lack of effort in keeping up with appearances for this last 3 weeks? oh well, silly old moi is still counting down.. 14 more workdays till the long overdue break.. its now Macao and Korea instead of Genting and Japan.. ;p

of Dining @ KHA

its been some time since i've met up with the babes. its hui's birthday and we met for dinner at KHA restaurant located @ HortPark, Hyderabad Road. its considered a super ulu location for east side moi. Jinny picked moi up from Queenstown MRT. the restaurant turn out to be beri chi chi with its stylish deco and stunning views. ( i so so super miss the street thai seafood items and meals i had on the streets of Bangkok and Changmai..how i miss travelling to Thailand.. ;p).

well, modern thai cuisine to be exact, and an award winning restaurant by hotelier Yenn Wong and hammed by award winning chef Matthew Lawdern. hee hee. the restaurant was fully packed with a mainly expat crowd..

we ordered mains for sharing. we had the crab and prawn cakes which came with mango salad on the side, roasted pork belly ( crispy yum), deep fried soft shell crab in yellow curry. roasted duck red curry, steamed seabass, mixed veg and pineapple fried rice. mango sticky rice to end the meal. the food was great, although i thought the steamed seabass could use abit more sauce and the duck meat could be more tender..

we had drinks thereafter and left after dinner as baby kayson beckon for his mummy..we got hui a pretty coach wristlet for her birthday pressie..the babes are sure getting busy with their lives.. we really should do a ladies only getaway.. like our trip to Bintan for my hen's nite..:)

of Angels and Demons

the day was pretty fulfilling, with moi getting off work at around 1.15pm. thats almost on the dot for a sat. so so rare, i sure hope it lasts. we were able to do a fair bit of shopping ( and burnt quite a hole in my poor pockets) got a pretty dress as moi is currently in the "dress" mode. plus do my eyebrows before catching Angels and Demons on the big screen. been wanting to catch the show and i'm glad i did. i had wanted to catch Ramen Gal without avail..

of all of Dan Brown's books, i liked Angels and Demons the best, and rank it above The Da Vinci Code, for there are elements of good overcoming evil, hope in faith which gives it a more moralistic feel good factor that many can resonate with. and the movie did not disappoint. although the ending could have been better scripted and more depth given to each of the lead characters, esp Ewan Mcgregor's role of camerlengo and the scene of final reckoning. hee hee, now i can't wait for my harry potter and twilight sequels to hit the big screens. yupz, modern wizards, vampires and modern fables of the non-secular fascinates little silly old moi greatly.. ;p

i heart Royal Honey Choya

the Bro has been travelling and he usually buys liqueur at the duty free shop when he lands. mummie gave moi a bottle of Royal Honey Choya that he bought as she had 2 bottles at home. its the first time i'm drinking Choya. Slup. i totally heart the Royal Honey Choya. Sweet honey ume goodness so so yum that i'm a convert.. the dearie finds it a tad sweet, but the sweetness is prefect for moi..hee hee ;p

Beautiful Memories

Beautiful Swiss Alps..Belated Honeymoon Pics

Top of Europe.. the most picturesque place i've ever been too..
if i have a chance to go back again this lifetime, i'm blessed..

Borders between Italy & Switzerland.. Lake District

Milan

Water City Venice

Our Italy and Switzerland journey. its great to be able to travel with my loved ones..

indeed there is beauty in this world, esp in Switzerland. these are the wonderful things in life that keeps me going in the next 2 months ahead.. i so so wanna travel. to escape. 2.5 work days for this week.. i am still counting down..

On the Wish List

Top of the Wish List : Amazon's Kindle 2 , e Book Reader.
Just gotta get one. When will Amazon's selection of ebooks be readily available on our sunny island?

the bookworm in moi wonders..and hopes..

A New Addiction

yupz. i am so so addicted to spreeing and online shopping that the dearie is complaining that i am neglecting him big time. its so different a world we now live in, from the world we were born to 20 plus years ago.

online shopping, spreeing,blogging,facebooking, kindleing, online gaming, you tubing... soon i will feel lost in this complex global village e-world of ours.

still awaiting for my purchases from the States to arrive. my B&B body lotions, cosmetics, clothes from Old Navy and DVDs from US retailers. hee hee..its definitely a more worthwhile way to spend my time pursuing my interests /hobbys then slogging at work for a shitty big boss. at least this is my mantra at this moment. quality of life matters along with my sense of self-worth. i wish i had arrived at this conclusion earlier.

A Melodramatic Week

It was a terrible start to the week. a week at work i rather forget. i admit that there were oversights on my part regarding the matter. the way they made it sound like, i was the one who was 70% at fault while D was 30% at fault. i would accept my shortcomings, for i could have prevented and stopped the matter. but my part in the whole affair was about 30%, yet the whole matter sounded like i was the only one at fault. it was utterly bias and an unfair assessment which i cannot stomach, for it is logic that procedures must be followed. the politics of the workplace and the easy shifting of blame. a session meant to humiliate me in front of so many others. i so wish i could forever be a student..or my own boss, yah..

its a real blessing that i have chosen to move. although the place is slowly becoming totally unbearable. everyday i am there, my spirit is being sapped away in bits and pieces. i would have just throw in the letter, if not for the dearie's advise that i only have months to go. yes, being too rationale and logical is a hindrance too. the new place is not the one i had initially chosen, but under the current circumstances, any place would be great. although i am still pissed that that i should have gotten the position which i had accepted, rather than the unknown which i am forced to accept because of time difference.

i guess. i am glad the week is over, for that signifies one week less to go. the kakis tease that i sound like i am on parole, the way i count the days and weeks and that they do not count, for its life imprisonment for them. i agree. totally. 2 more months to go.

Finally Settled

Taken in Pisa.



Pics taken in Rome..

Time flies, and I've been Mrs Dearie for close to 4 months. In the whirlwind of a time, we've completed the house (yupz, the study room is also almost done) and gone for our lovely honeymoon.

Italy and Switzerland
Words can't adequately describe the beauty of Switzerland with it's snow capped mountains and quint little cottage style houses dotting the landscape. Its really my dream country to settle down in, for the pretty landscape. Lake district, which is the place bordering Italy and Switzerland would be my next choice... :) Tits an expensive eye-opening once in a life time trip for us, an i am sure glad that we choose Italy and Switzerland. i also luv Milan for shopping, chic Italian cosmopolitan city. Venice for its old world charm with a tint of romance. Florence and Rome for the history, art , buildings and culture. Hee hee, managed to buy a branded bag at cheap cheap prices. We also went to Zermatt, Berne, Lucene,Interlarken in Switzerland. Charmy, scenic and clean. Hee hee, really really must save up for more trips aboard and to other countries in Europe. :)

On the work front, the economy is in the doldrums, we are officially in recession, but i'll decided to move move. awaiting for news. i guess there is no right or wrong decision in this instance, and i;ve decided not to regret my decision. be it right or wrong. guess i just have to move on if its wrong. current job is just not me. period. so, for long term self actualization, i've gotta gotta move move. will update if things have been settled.

Carpe Diem

The recent ecomonic crisis and the global unrest has brought many a thoughts to my mind.
you'll never noe when the flame is sniffed out from the candle of life.
If you noe you just have one more day ahead, wat will ya do?
Sieze the day, i'll say.
The little boss is posting out, changes abound.
i'm increasingly finding the workplace unbearable.
dun think i'm able to stick it out much longer.
if i only have a life, i wanna do something i luv, else something bearable yah.

Numbness

a tad hurt at her nonchalance regarding the wedding,
maybe i hurt her with my betrayal, our easy acceptance of him.
the ease in welcoming him back into our lives.
bro says she was deeply hurt. by our betrayal.
maybe our views on the subject matter are not aligned. given our positions.
at this point in time, with the wedding upcoming, it does not matter much anymore.
my heart is kinda immure, from the many rounds of battering.
i am unable to discuss the matter with her, the lack of interest from her.
the dear says i've been affected, with my unconscious venting of frustrations over small matters.
i wonder how long i can keep the facade up?
that everything is progressing well unilaterally.
for every non response cuts at the fabric of the whole. i act cheerful, i joke, when tears are welling up within. time after time.
in retrospect, i could have handled confessions better.
but, keeping too much secrets is a burden on itself. i felt relieved, to have come clean on the matter. or perhaps, some things are best left unsaid. as i have learn the hard way.
why? does the ties of kin fade with the passage of time?
sometimes i wonder, what constitutes significant to her?
or perhaps, the hurt i caused her, is the most significant aspect of the issue.

A whole lota books

i luv trawling expo for mega sale events. cheap gets.. it brings out the auntie in moi.
the Borders sale this weekend was the best ever.
we went for the metro sale on thursday, and saw the poster that Borders was having a sale.. hee
so we popped by on friday nite to check out the first ever borders expo sale.
imagine my ecstasy when i found that the books were literally going for a song.
great books for $4 and in pristine condition..
wat more can a auntiey book lover ask for?
and there were many many genres to choose from.
i thought i had died and gone to literary heaven..
piles and piles of great books. at $4 -$12 plus.
wah hoo.. i manged to restraint my self yah,
or rather, the dear one restrained moi..
i only lagged back 10 ( one belonging to the dearie).. compared to the many book lovers who were carrying truckloads..
am currently reading the chick read book..
there's still the jaime oliver book .. the book on tibet, the book on the famous egyptian queen..
the book on Indian cultures.. and many others..
hee.. super duper happy with my purchases.. :)
looking forward to the next expo borders book sale.. ;p

tits a jolly good show

am not really a movie buff but my luv of movies began in my honors year at uni.
the fantasy world of the unreal brings me away from the mandate everyday, from stress.
i find myself wanting to watch more movies when ever i'm stressed..
it must be that planning for the big day is getting to me..

finally managed to catch The Dark Knight.. at Bugis yesterday, the last day of the free tixs the dear one had.
tits really a great show.Christian Bale makes a great batman.. Heath Ledger wonderful as joker in his swan song..
as well as the slow descent into darkness for Harvey Dent.. indeed, for life can be truly a binary.
was the joker mad in his quest to challenge the norms/moral codes defined by society?
moral sanctions imposed upon the amoral by the self defined moral? a tit bit freudian i would say.
hee hee.. tits beyond moi..
but tits really a jolly good show. to moi.. :)

Dah..

the other departments are exploring the effects of new media..and certainly keeping up with the times.
my unit? the big boss is still draconian and runs the unit like his mini empire.
sometimes i truly wonder whether the organization is the same one whole?
it must be just me, why do i take in so much crap from mediocre leadership ?
my extreme skepticism has made me increasingly vocal during internal meetings.
Systemic structural fault seems my fav quote these days. its not for lack of effort in wanting to push for changes.
the place does not encourage individualsim, i think i am getting increasingly stupid by the day.
i gotta move. after the wedding. i promise.

Wedding Blues

think i'm a kinda slack bride.. unlikely that i'll turn into bridezilla anytime soon.. well, after all, isn't it the life after the wedding that matters? chill.. hope the wedding wun turn out to be a big flop yah.. ;p

Our 2-in-1 2008

these days, we are fairy busy with the house reno..
penny pinching with the limited budget which we have since busted big time..
lights, fittings, furnishings, curtains, bed,crockery etc etc..
a new house, our new home, a new phase in life..
getting highly domesticated by the day..
tits tiring to do both the house and the wedding together..
not to mention the extensive damage on the wallet and the depleting savings..
we gotta save, we gotta invest, i gotta move, i gotta learn to cook (highly inspired by the food blogs i've been reading.. yum) after this busy busy 2-in-1 year of ours..

Another daunting week at work

Its really these days whereby the buttering from the top gets too daunting..
that the urge to be more humane to myself surfaces..
should i stay or move?
the pay increments have just been announced. and its damn attractive..
but my battered soul may not be able to hold on for longer
for i have always felt that work culture could be better at other organisations,
perhaps i really should move, in Oct, after the wedding..
so that i can do something more satisfying..maybe just not in monetary terms.
anyways i like other colours besides blue..
okies. deal. job-searching in Oct 08. remind me, will ya?
of how truly shitty i felt, being blamed for something that was not my fault.
for not being allowed to do value added tasks in accordance to my pay.
there must be something that suits me outside, right?

The CHY movies

The year of the Rat is here,

and we managed to catch the 3 lunar new year movies..

the dear one ranks them as follows:

1) Kung fu dunk for the overall story

2) CJ7 for stephen chow's jokes although the pacing was slow

3) Ah long Pte Ltd... the critics were right!

ha ha.. although i would think that being able to laugh at familar no brainer jokes is a blessing in itself. not the dear, who finds the plot and jokes predictable. i would think that its a subjective thingy, for everyone has differing perceptions of what constitutes a good movie.. to me, the chance to escape into the Reel world for that short moment in time with the unfolding story, is worth the tix price. just knew i would not make a good movie critic!
I must really watch more movies this year!

Blogging?

i read an article on bloging in which the writer wrote of the change in the manner in which she approached the activity. The writer wrote that when she first started blogging, she wrote about very freely about anything and everything, akin to writing to a diary. writing anonymously. now, she has started to write for an audience and no longer write about things close to her heart. topics are limited to certain boundaries and written to impress. for you would never know who is reading. in the complexity that is the cyber world.

indeed, if the begining of blogging represented an outlet for the expression of self. a paperless method of detailing your thoughts and a record of your activities. however, with the proliferation of the activity, the advancement of technology and an entire generation of tech savvy cyber users in the information age, the blog moves from the private into the public sphere. with the possiblity of being linked to the blog thru various methods, the blog is an alternative to the mass media. the concept of the social construction and presentation of self in the cyber. maybe golfman's theorys of presentation of self are applicable, with there being an inner/outer binary.

it would be interesting to do a sociological discourse on the subject matter. in fact, facebooking would be another cyber social activity that is worth a discursive study. and the irony of the matter, it is beyond doubt that i am gulity of the above, as well.

Being a presenter

presenting is never my forte.. butterflies would gather in the unsettled tummy.. with the cheeks burning a bright red.. and the mind freezing into blankness..humpz.. many a presentations later.. its still the same.. shicks

really need to polish up on my presentation skills......... ;p

An alternate kind of chilling out

Since the dear gal has gotten her own place, we've been hanging out a fair bit at her lovely baroque themed house.Great conversation, free flowing red and white wine paired with cheese and crackers.We've become fans of take-away. Sushi, pizza, simply divine desserts like tiramisu from da palo's.. slurp..

I would say that noisy countdown parties and crowded places no longer appeals to us. Its the passage of time, we have moved past that stage.. for the cosy comfy ambience of jinny's place suits us fine. hee.. and the dear gal has been generously volunteering her place. Guess we'll all take turns to do the hosting when we have our own places.

Tits been a great start to the new year.. and i look forward to more cosy homey gatherings with wonderful company, stimulating conversation, good food in 2008..although there is always the danger of getting too tipsy with wine.. ;p

Ushering in 2008

We are a week into the new year,
cost of living is increasing with prices of everyday goods increasing
tits a good time for moi to rethink my spending habits..

1. Resturants only on weekdays afternoons (e.g Jake's Place's Set lunches are pretty value for money although we will inevitably end up hunting for resturants on weekends.. haiz )
2. Mass markets brands are value for money. ( The dear says i'll prob still buy my branded bags while he dresses in bossini)
3. Hawker food is yummy if you noe where to find framed makansutra cooks.(But we don't know where to queue..)
4. Home cooked food is best in terms of everything.( The dear says this is true if its his mum's cooking.. ;p)
5. Cosy gatherings at fre's place with great takeaway totally digs. (Spizza does delivery.. hee but that's kinda ex too.. opps)
6.Coupon cutting and buying when there is discounts is not aunty.(If we can find the coupons when we need erm.. )
7. The dear says less holidays means less money spent (which i totally disagree on principle, coz travel is everything to moi)

If we can adhere to the above, i'm sure we will survive rising oil prices.inflation and what not :)

Haiz.. Not much for new year resolutions..
Just to stay healthy
Just for the loved ones to stay healthy
Just for the career path to be smooth
Just to loss some weight and start working out
Just to stay connected with my dearest fres
Just to save more money
Just to add more countries to the travel list
Just to have my own place and a lovely wedding
and to get the elusive driving licence..!

Although thats alot to ask for, yah?

2007 in Summary..

tits was a year of a new posting, a new work environment.. alot of work milestones
tits a year of work, late nights, take away lunches and dinner
nothing much to show for the year
nothing much to take away for the year
except for the times i cherish, with my loved ones, my dear dear and my dearest fres
oh, and the 4 weddings and 1 baby birth in dec

2008 will be an eventful year, a year of changes in my life.
2007's simpleness is a blessing in itself, for i am not adaptive to changes.

Christmas Christmas

its the season for giving and luving..
was great meeting up with the pastries @ irins..
the foods great, but the lovely golden xmas tree with the blinking lights was truely the highlight..not to forget the gift xchange which got everyone swooning over the gifts they got..
i truely luv dec, and Christmas..
the season for luving and sharing..
for meeting up with dear old friends..
more gatherings to come..
i hope next year the new place will be up and blinking shiny from the lights of my very own xmas tree.. :)

Sweet 3 years

tis our 3rd year anniverasry. time flies. different from the eloborated and well-planned wedding proposal of last year, the day was simple but no less sweet. we are on long leave, which sets the mood. we started the day with gingerbread latte and carrot cake at coffee bean. the dear one got me a pretty mug and a tin of flavored blueberry tea for the office. so sweet of him, for its just wat i wanted. dinner was buffet at changi village hotel.. seafood and bbq buffet at salt water cafe from the vouchers we've won at CVH's wedding show. we stuffed ourselves silly with the oysters and the bbq meats before moving to Hanamco's for after dinner drinks and chips. liked the way the big chunk of ice slowly melts in my calamansi juice, just like the way they serve drinks over at affiliated charlie's corner.



we strolled down the row of pubs and coffee shops. really luv the changi village area with its laidback charm. i find it less pretencious than the holland v area. am starting to enjoy the unfamilar streets in the east side. from the katong, east coast area to the markets next to our new place at bedok. guess the undomesticated moi and the dear one would be eating out fairly often around the area. its a sweetly endearing simple 3rd year celebration. we'll do our weekend getaways when the budget's not so tight for next year's expected expenditures.. ;p

Paper Writing

writing a paper is like fitting pieces of a jigsaw into a complete picture. Once the smaller pieces have formed, you see the big picture. provided you are a good jigsaw puzzle solver in the first place. am getting rusty. procrastination looms. damn. feels like a uni student again, albeit one with a rusty underused mind.. ;p

A well spent Sat..

the dear one and i went for a wedding show at Changi Village Hotel.. imagine my surpise when i saw a familar face in the sea of couples.. yupz. met kian ming and his galfriend. They were checking out the hotel as a ROM venue.. i must say i am very taken with the beautiful unkempt seaside views of the surroundings, the poolside with the fallen leaves. tis would be a great place to get married in..for ROM, for the ballroom is small for the dinner and the dear felt that the dishes were too salty. However, the hotel is really rustic and a good place for a local weekend getaway.

he wants to do a 2 in 1 thingy.. so that we can save the extra money spent for the ROM, oh wellz.. we can, if we can book a venue in 2008 , else, its good to do it on diff days. hmm.. if it were up to moi, i could do with just the ROM and not the dinner, for the fres you invite to the ROM would prob be the ones you value the most.. that said, part of me still wants the relatives to noe that mom mom had brought us up well, in spite of everything.. haiz.. diff decision. oh wellz..

anyways, we managed to sign up for a bridal package at the wedding show.. jinny's advice was not to sign up for the bridal package without previewing the growns actually available at the shop. oh wellz. the dear one and moi are prob to lazy to walk the whole of tanjong pagar. i like the simple and clean design style of the designer, fingers crossed that we did not make a hasty decision. realised that i do not like fancyful eloborated styles but something plain and simple. hopefully things will turn out wellz..

just realised that changi vilage area is a rather vibrant place, with many eating places, pubs and watering holes. the hawker centre has loads of yummy food. we had great fish and chips at Charlie's Corner, a charming place by the side of the hawker centre. the food's great, so i gather we would be making more trips to the area for makan..even if we are not going to pulau ubin.. ;p

Childhood Memories

Bittersweet.. its the first time after so long that he peeled prawns for me. in the many years that followed, i have come to not expect anything from him. The cooking style has changed, or so he claimed. We never used to have fish and prawns when we lived there. it was always only mommie who cooked the good stuff for us. the steam fish, prawns , veg and soup which he cooked was meant as an avenue he showed affection and care for us, the way the older generation expressed themselves. An elaborated meal by his standards..

Having a meal there, at the same home of yester years.. mixed emotions. for we have betrayed her, her love and her unconditional giving to us both by having a meal with him. but he will always be linked to us both. we have moved far far away with the passing of time but the locked memories of the past resurfaced yesterday.. in the familar place i used to call home. the person whom should have been part of my life and bros. he has aged significantly. it takes time to mend broken bridges, for he has been absent from a major part of our growing up years. its not easy, and the guilt at betraying mommie weighs greatly on moi.

He commented that he was the one who cared for us when we were younger, when mom mom cared only for other things. its the self delusion of an elderly person? i dun noe and dun wanna dwell too much into the past, for i have moved on and so have bro. no one is wrong in such matters, he has his flaws and to moi, mom mom is the person who brought me up. but, he too.. in the gap years that mom mom lived elsewhere. Its too late to comment on what has passed, whose faults it was.

Mixed feelings. Sadness.. bittersweet..for in the many years that followed, we had taken him completely out of our lives. its not easily to establish relationships, even harder to mend broken ones. but we are trying.. for i noe he cared deeply for bro and bro does care for him too. He has also moved on , his is a simple life with a new partner that suits him. am glad that he has someone who loves him and takes care of him. at least he is not a lonely man. for we can only see him occassionally. i dread breaking mom mom's heart, but he is kin too.. and an old man trying to find back his children. whatever wrong doings in the past, is past and no one's fault. hmm.. an awkard relationship this is.

Moving On?!

today's peaceful crowd at the workplace is an unusual sight in the 9 months i have been at the unit. i left around 730 with the dear one, for sushi was going cheap cheap at sakae.. and auntie moi just gotta have my sushi , yah! feels good to have time to do some blogging, reading of blogs.

7pm knock off timing.. the endless crowd with their expectations. i just came back after a week away for an off-site event, yet.. i am starting to dread the long long work days.. sat we ended nearly at 6pm.. tired, for i am not a machine, and there are more worthwhile events in my life.. 9 months have passed in 2007 and i am turning 27 so veri soon.. kinda sad that time is passing me by.. finally got the major pay adjustment i wanted.. the coffers are getting fuller, but nah.. the thought of maintaining jet black hair for the rest of my life is kinda scary.. i wanna do curls with colour, i wanna wear my big big earrings.. oh wellz.. gotta try harder.. else, i may really be struck forever.. ohh...

just opened the doors to the future home on sat.. din noe there was a market so close by and many little shops.. goodie.. lazy moi need not cook if food is easily available.. am starting to like the east and the food options, but i am still a westie at heart.. we've gotta start working on our reno plans soon.. shiacks.. mummie is going on a trip to Africa on Wednesday and i can't help feeling worried, silly old moi..

Gals Nite Out

been so buried in work that i forgot there's a Public Holiday this week. Sometimes i wonder, if you stop to chat with the workmates less, walk around less, maybe productivity would increase.
Oh wellz..

met up with the gals. Irin & An joined us for this round. We met for dinner at Sun with Moon. Everyone seems to be later then usual. normal knock off- meeting up time is now 8-9pm. late dinners. I din want to be the earliest, so i left office at 8. The B said i only needed to hand in that urgent report on friday, first thing in the morn.. hee.. so off for dinner i went..

forgot it was Hui's Hatchday on 31st. We got her a cake from nydc next door. Oreo Cheese. The selection of items was extensive. An, Irin & I chose the same item. Beef & Foie Gras Kamameshi. One of their chef's recomendation. The beef simply melts in your mouth and the foie gras was good. Topped over the steamed rice.. the combi quite goes. Jinny chose the tempura soba. Han had the grilled pork kamameshi. Everything looks yummy. Although I found my sesame five grain soup dessert with rice cake a tad too sweet. Will def bring the dear one here to try out the other items and creative desserts like tofu cheesecake and strawberry redbean pancake..yum!

we went to Merriott for after dinner drinks. Had Hui's cheesecake too, as we were disallowed to consume the cake at the resturant. silly rules. i must say i quite like the lounge there. we most prefer quiet cosy water holes rather than noisy crowded ones. they shared a bottle of red. i had ice latte as i din felt like drinking. Jin's hubby and An's Guang joined us too.

its was kindda funny actually. most of the bunch are up & coming bankers. offshore banking. loans. credit. cash mgt accounts. local vs foreign banks. Hui just had an interview for a marketing position with citi. Means she may become half a banker. Shicks.. that leaves only me, serving the gahmen and getting peanuts. and An, the journalist who is an economist by training. can't deny that banking pays. After all, Investment Bankers are the most highly paid last year. i hope Hui gets the job. it'll mean a huge huge pay jump for her. it also shows the huge pay diff between the public sector and the public sector. many says you serve the public not for the monetary rewards, but somehow you could not help feeling lacking. Bukit Timah addresses and the chi chi life. i will prob only be getting wat Hui stands to get as a starting pay, 10 years down the road. what motivates me? Singapore dreaming? or a meaningful existance with the simple?

this bunch is def diff from my jc group. that bunch is more heartlanderish. the conversation is diff, expectations and outlook too. Just like my soci mates are more into quality of life. maturity of thoughts and the theoratical. the exploration for the defination of society and the deconstruction, construction of self and issues related to the abstruct. totally diff from my econs mates with their dollars and sense. i tread between these groups, yet at times i just wanna struck a balance of all. am i asking for too much? herein lies the dilemma. wat i want out of my life? at times i ponder. The crux is contentment. this i have to search for. silly old me..

The dear one's birthdae

It was literally candle light fried chicken dinner at everyone's fav fast food resturant.

The dear one forgave me for being late. Was struck in office because the system was down. A system that is at the end of its technical life span. Someone was joking that the systen noes we are abandoning it soon.. Oh well.. there goes our movie.

Dun get anything else for him apart from that shirt so long ago. Oh shacks..
Went walking around the estate. Ate snacks. Play with the cute nephew.
Dinner with his family. Cake cutting at his place.
Simple birthday. Diff from the BBQ & Chalet of last year.
Will do something special next year. i promise..
2 days away from work. wow hoo!! tom its work and work again.. ;p

Pay Revision?

woke up to news that there would be pay revisions for fresh grads

what the fishz? it means that that new rookie would be earning more than me?!

after slogging for nearly 3 years, under paid and overwork?

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.................ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........

understand the org may be slow in responding to the changes.. but my patience is running thin.. if there are still not suitable adjustments to our pay, i guess its no great oppt cost to me if i were to start afresh elsewhere..

many in the same batches as us, who were employed in recent years, are stuck in the same situation. having worked for a no of years, if we do not move soon, we are likely to remain stagnant.. in the same job.. and the 'recession' pay we are getting is aggrevating matters in post recession economy..

all things being equal, the oldies have always been paid more, the rookies too, lots more at that.. we are the sandwiched batches, neither here nor there.. victims of circumstances.

haiz.. that said, moving on requires lots of faith, in the ability to find something better.

Melancholic Week

2 deaths in the past week and long long working hours seem to have taken its toll on me..

one an old school mate whom i noe of.. he's a nice chap.. the abruptness of life ..
fate seems cruel sometimes, for he had a bright future.
A freak accident it feels like.
Can't help feeling shivers. For it could be me or anyone else am close to.
If I were to leave, i have anythings i wanna do..and have not done..

the other is the husband of a collegue.
his passing mirrors that of my fav teacher's husband
also no signs and without warning
i should spent my time with my mummy
for one can never predict accurately when a loved one may leave
me mummy laments that she's getting old
i noe her health is not as good as before..
i wanna spent more time with my loved ones.. i really do..

.. hmm.. but my supposedly inefficent self means i have loads of work
and deadlines that i cannot adhere to..
challenging work.. but hard to balance ground operations with staff work at times
we are overly stretched.. there should be more defined jobscopes for us,
the higher mgt tries, i hope..
the only section that works longer than the other sections, due to high cyclic renewals for services.. i think i'm starting to feel inadequte, to dread the crowds..
to fill the expectations and standards labelled on us because of the seniority of our positions
1am sleeping time.. to drag myself out of bed at 6am. 6 days week. yesterday i completely zonked out by 9pm.. after the heavy dinner. Brought work home, but can't seem to make myself work. Slept most of today away.. shaicks..

time is living me..
yet i promise i must treasure my loved ones more,
haiz...

its the dear one's bithday on tuesday..
and i have not planned anything special,
not a good galfreie.............
maybe a short getaway next year..
i promise... really..

A quite nice poem from my current read

Boast of Quietness - Jorge Luis Borges

Writings of light assault the darkness, more prodigious than meteors.
The tall unknowable city takes over the countryside.
Sure of my life and my death, I observe the ambitious and would like to understand them.
Their day is greedy as a lariat in the air.
Their night is a rest from the rage within steel, quick to attack.
They speak of humanity.
My humanity is in the feeling we are the same voices of the same poverty.
They speak of homeland.
My homeland is the rytham of a guitar, a few portraits, an old sword, the willow grove's visible prayer as evening falls.
Time is living me.
More silent than my shadow, I pass through the loftily covetous multitude.
They are indespensable, singular, worthy of tomorrow.
My name is someone and anyone.
I walk slowly, like one who comes from so far away he doesn't expect to arrive.

======================================================
Somehow to relate to the emptiness, alienation caused by the paper chase, of the insignificance of thy self in modernisation and globalisation..

Ahem.. Back after a short absence

Din realise that time just flow by.. quite comfy and settled in the new section.. enjoying normal workin hours.. although the hours are long long long.. can't seem to be able to finish my work on time.. and 7pm knock off time is becoming the norm.. i seem to have been buried by the motions of work. No time to smell the roses, to enjoy the musky bleeze after the rain, nice songs that touch me so, and the simple things that i used to enjoy so..

This past one week was pure heaven, my Vietnam trip with the dear one and mama ,and the days of blissful sleep.. strange, that things I used to like, like enthic bags and little stuff, no longer touch me as much as they did during my last trip to HCMC.. rather, it was the simplicity of being able to explore the nooks and crannies of the raw city that tags at my heart.. yes.. 5 months without a break and my travels have left me deviod of the little pleasures i enjoy so much..

That said, I am nevertheless challenged by the work that is thrown to me at the new work unit, the chance to write papers, implement projects, challenge myself for self developement. Many many projects upcoming for the later half of the year and its a challenge to follow rem through. The skills that i will acquire at this work unit is forever mine for keeping.. the little boss is an affable person, but the big boss's moods and tides leave me feeling thrown and beaten. If I can find another job which interests me, i will move, i think... the feeling of inertia scares me.. the knowledge that if i take no action for this year, i will prob be bounded by many factors to stay on this job.. Work life balance? I hope i dun burn out so soon..esp when i clearly do not enjoy certain aspects of the job.. hummp.. piity that i am fairly certain i will do okay well if i stay on...

Next vacation is prob only in Sept, if i am unable to make it for the white water rafting trip to malaysia.. fingers crossed.. and the club med bintan trip in july due to the major project in june.. ;p

Donkey blues?

If Nov was busy busy.. Dec is just yucky at work.. softie moi can't seem to deny all the aunties their leave.. think i overgranted leave.. tits the nature of the work.. in a month where traffic peaks.. it hard for staff to go on leave.. guess its my fault too.. i misculculated and should have been more prudent.. Oh well.. been praying real hard that things will turn out well..think my boss's gonna hit the roof.. hate doing manpower deployment.. yet i wanna go into HR.. silly old moi..

Is there a blanket that i can cover myself with and pretend that nothing happened? Aiz.. 14 more days till the end of my stint.. guess its a good lesson learnt..albeit at a great price.. dun think my apprasial will be that great..hee.. oh well.. hope things will be better in Jan.. new beginnings..new year.. and i asked the dear one.. will i be a failure if i never get promoted in my entire life? and he says.. its okay.. impt is you be good wife! Hee... the girly and slack me simply melted.. but the headstrong me still laments and worries.. my gut feel is that if i stay with the org.. i will prob end up being an average performer.. no passion for the job.. and no guts to move on.. wonder if i will look back in rectrospect 30 years from now and regret not taking action? haiz.. wonder if my investments will reap wonderful returns so that i can retire early and open a cafe..

Not in much of a holiday mood till this crisis is over.. and am still thinking whether i should join Hui and Han in Phuket.. really gotta save..

Time flies

Wow.. before I noe it.. am back from Siem Reap .. when to the co's dnd and had lots of photos taken.. spent nearly a fortune on my hair with rebonding and 5 treatments package course..and even had another mini vacation at Sentosa. Really luv Sokha hotel which I stay in at Siem Reap.. the hotel is new.. the spa is great.. the splurge was worth it mah.. think im becoming addicted to 5 star hotels.. opps.. even Rasa Sentosa which i just stay at on Sentosa was great.. can still remember the yummy strawberries from the breakfast and the platter of kueh which was in the room when we checked it.. and of course.. the breathtaking seaview from our balcony windows and the lavender toiletries provided.. luxury.. hee.. guess occasional spending is food for the soul.. hmm.. can't do it often though.. not good for overall financial health.. ;p

The dear one brought me to Il lido at Sentosa Golf Club for fine Itallian dining.. the meal was my most expensive ever.. but worth it.. We had pan fried groose liver which melts in your mouth.. lobster linguini .. diver scallopes.. beef and chocolate pudding with raspberry sorbet.. the sorbet is simply refreshing.. and my white wine was good too..yum..nearly $150 per pax.. ouch! The poor dear! And he brought me a bottle of Chanel's Chance perfume which i mentioned that i liked.. the silly one.. and a photo book of pictures of us which he made himself..so touched i am.. really.. and of course.. the shiny destinee bling which took most of his bonous.. the silly silly one.. im a lucky gal.. really.. appreciate the effort and thought.. though its a once in the life time thingy.. beautiful memories.. is wat i'll be..

hee... must really save in 2007 .. ;)

Idyllic Days

Woh... Idyllic days.. these past few days.. pretty sure i've gained a few pounds with all that bingeing .. shopping and days of sleeping in..

Finally had my eyebrows trimmed and cutted my fringe.. felt better instantly. Guess often your mood is affected by your perception of self.. especially so for moi.. my sense of self at times is tagged to how good i look or perceive myself to look.. ha ha.. instant gratification.. which is why women are willing to shell out big bucks to maintain themselves.. which is hard.. for the average jane with the average salary.. style and beauty.. needs money.. aiz.. Guess i have to save up some to strighten my hair from my current curly locks.. have decided i look better in straight flat hair.. ha ha.. even my thoughts reflects my idyllic mood ;p

Went to a fantestic korean restaurant called Togi at Chinatown which i will def bring Fen, and the pastries to.. the portions are large.. the side dishes are refillable.. and the pretty lady boss served us our stonepot mixed rice with flare.. plus the price is reasonable.. Yummy.. can't wait to try the ginseng chicken soup on my next visit..

Went to Vivo City and tried out the movie theatre there too.. hee.. still a sucker for any novel or movie that has beautiful wineyards as the backdrop. Though the leading man in A Good Year is not as dashing as Keanu Reeves in A Walk in the Clouds.. but being a wine movie romance.. it'll do.. can't wait for Charlotte's web to be out.. hmm.. tis been a long time since i've watch movies.. and i thought one of my resolutions was to watch more movies?! A good form of escapism from the real world to the reel world.. :p

More shopping tom in my quest to find the perfect dress for my co's DnD at Ritz Carlton. Hope I find something nice with the limited budget that I have.. my upcoming trip to Siem Reap is taking up this whole month's savings.. hiaz.. and i've gotta go on a diet too.. the DnD's nearing.. and i'm still eating and eating.. shaiks........

Just fretting doing nothing

Finally got thru my black Nov... 9 free days.. and my upcoming trip to Siem Reap.. Can't believe its just next week.. the ancient beauty of the Wats in Angkor beckons... although I am never really a fan of Wats.. looking forward to my spa treat too.. although its estimated that the trip will set me back by close to $700.. 3 days 2 nights.. Phew... I gotta take some realli breathtaking photos man..

The dear one nags at me to be more frugal.. i will.. i will.. i promise.. but how's a gal to survive without retail therapy? My shopping list keeps growing by the day instead of my investment portfolio.My second posting is still unknown.. my batch mates are mostly going to welcome travellers from the skies..and I'm in 2 minds abt it.. if i do shift again, the distance will just kill moi.. but there are the monetary perks of being on shift together with the luxury of leisure time.. while going to the headquarters will be good exposure and great for career development.. but i'll be a poor church mouse.. yet the irony is.. the posting could already have been decided by some higher being upon the 9th floor.. just that its not announced yet. Aiz.. all that fretting when i got my posting option form was for naught.. for its just a meaningless paper excerise and my gut feel is that I've not been outstanding enough in my 2 years in the organisation. Hence, the urge to move on.. for a fresh start.. esp when you see your pals shining brightly in their careers or doing something they are passion about.. just can't seem to be passionate abt my job.. dah..

Shaks.. i've gotta snap out of this soon.. for what ever will be, will be. Can't help being demoralized a tat bit by the current state of things..Golly.... really gotta stop worrying abt work for the next 9 days at least.. ;p

5 more Days

5 more days till my long break.. 9 days of vacation leave.. but i must first got thru these 5 days.. a last min emcee assignment when facing any small amt of audience turns me to stone.. my legs to jelly.. oh shit.. wat was i thinking of when i said yes? I should stick to doing something which i my forte..and the national competition on the 10th.. ah.. 5 more long long days.. only saving grace being my meet up session with the gals and the yummy dinner with my collegues..

abit of everything

Just back from my cruise.. tis 4 days of eating and eating.. and slacking.. yummy local food at Penang.. shopping at central festival in Phuket.. for that 4 days, real life fades , together with the worries of work.. time seems suspended.. and leisure becomes the norm..
travel is an escape from established patterns and you rediscover yourself in the process.. somtimes.. you discover that life can be so simple.. and so simple are the happy things in life.. afterall.. everyone wants to be happy..

i suppose i will be a happie happie gal if i learn to not be so harsh on judging myself for every little mistake that i make.. to learn that its actually all right to be yourself.. tis hard.. sometimes to break away from the confines imposed upon you by society.. and life is present day singapore.. is all about climbing the social ladder, getting a good job.. stablity.. establishing a career.. it seems your life is already mapped from birth..and its scary.. how we are part of our social group.. of our generation.. exibiting the same traits.. chasing after the same thing.. Something knocked into us by the education system here? would i be happie being one of those still buried their work after dusk..? i dunnoe..

perhaps i am disheartened.. by the tough requirements of the work place.. a piece of work you submit.. suddenly becomes the focal point.. just because the project has been shortlisted to represent the dept.. and suddenly you get attention from all the big shots.. and everyone wants to add in their opinions and wat not.. on how to improve the project.. when previously it was a forgone conclusion the the project was unlikely to be selected..amd it was a neglected piece of submission.. now its a prestigious thingy and everyone wans us to do our best..
guess i dun take constructive comments easily although i noe i din put in my all on the project..guess i'm afraid to be judged and found lacking.. maybe i really lack the ability to produce fine work.. i dun feel the passion as i use to, in writing my team papers.. perhaps i should develope passion for my work.. perhaps its just me..to be judged as lacking the ability.. or perhaps....... i am my own biggest judge? for i ponder too much over all areas in which i have not done well..over reflect?!

oh well......... enough rumblings.. if i dun live to work but work to live.. whose's to judge me on my short comings? am i a far less better person if i dun climb the corporate ladder or take eeyons to do so? ha ha.. perhaps i am just not running the right race.. for security is def not my forte..

ha ha.. i wanna travel again.. to escape again.. maybe to somewhere else in S.E.A.. where lifes are simpler.. without the complexities that comes with developement.. ;p

Allo 26!!

29th sept..the removal of the little red dot took ten mins.. after the jab i kinda feel nothing.. although i could hear the swlinging of the electric knife cutting at my flash.. the entire surgery was kindda fast and surreal.. my first operation and it was over in a jiffy.. in rectrospect.. the waiting was worse than the actual event.. and i was up and shopping immediately.. splurged on 2 pairs of shoes.. my treat to me self for having survived.. and out tim sum at crystal jade was is good old soul food.. yum.. my chix craws and bittergruad with salted eagg yolks.. lifes great with the removal of the lump .. oh... actually is was more tramatic for my loved ones lah..

had a great time these past few days.. 27th sept.. gelato and pasta at menotti.. forbidden city at esplande.. hee.. jo was great as part of the cast.. i was kindda restless in the first half of the show.. but totally absorb into the story of a concubine who eventually rose to rule china.. my first show atthe esplande.. thanks to the dear one.. his poor pockets are badly burned these past few days.. can't imagine the credit card bills next month..

.. 28th sept.. had dinner with the gals at Aerin's.. the resturant by White Bait and kale's owners.. luved the salad of rocket with sun-dried tomatos and cheese with balsamic vinger dressing.. yummy.. and the mazze platter was nice too.. although my main course of grilled beef with pita bread could have been better.. the mudpie was sinful indulgence..and we blow $150 on the meal.. cheaper than whitebait.. i guess.. catching up with the gals was fun..

.. 30th.. hello 26 and goodbye 25.. its scarey actually.. noeing that the numbers between 30 and 26 are smaller than 25.....the dear naughty boy give me a preszzie.. an anklet.. so pretty with tiny hearts.. woke up late and went shopping.. and dearie treated moi to sizzlers.. hee.. and lots more along the way.. its was a happya day.. work is the furthest thing from my mind these past few days.. yipee...

.. today... the gals came by to visit the post surgery moi.. hee.. aparently i'm a patient newly recoverd.. and they got me fish tonic.. so touched.. and hui's bow tie pasta with cream sauce, porto bello mushrooms was good..hee.. its heart-warming having so many pple who cares abt me..had treat from mum and bro.. and mum's present was a transparent pair of specs.. hope i look good in my new specs.. opps.. its back to work tom.. and worries that i've over indulged for the past few days.. need to lost weight liao.. :)

Just my usual musings

yah... the red dot is still there.. D Day is scheduled for the 29th.. which incidentally I have originally applied for VL.. and my birthday eve.. is gonna be a painful birthday this year..

meet up to shop for han's birthday with hui.. feels great.. the kind of girly chats wif yr fav gal pals..pity i had no time to grab some shoes.. the shoe freak that i am..

attended jaime's wedding at hyatt.. very pretty.. the black tables were kinda cool and the march in by the groom's military pals.. wow.. din know marrying military man has its peaks... Jaime looks every bit the radient bride.. and i'm happy to be with the 97c gang.. we'll be celebrating the golden 10 years next year and golly... we should have a grand celebartion................ everyone's grown up.. and the topics we chat abt has shifted to more adult.. guess its a process very young adult has to go through.. although i believe im still in self denial...

12 more days to my cruise.. can't wait... :)

the Big red dot

A dot kinda spolit all things this week..

It started fom a small dot.. which slowly grow in size..

A visit to the doc ought to have been one time too many..

Now its gonna be a trip to the operating room...

Worries a flutter..

It sets me wondering..

In the peaceful ordinary.. the next few days was wonderfully mapped..
a baby's birthday
a fre's wedding at a top hotel
a musical at esplande
3 days of celebrations for the big 26

Now... what de..

And i ponder... sometimes its better to live life to the fullest

never wonder the "I should, should not"
never wonder the "wat if"........

Fingers crossed..
Pray for me yah....

Time flies

Golly......... its already Sept........ where have the past few months gone? Guess not being able to take leave and having too much ecas at work is kinda overwheming moi...

Gosh.... I'll turn 26 in about 15 days time.. feels kinda ancient... more winkles in the nooks and crannies.. Resolutions aplenty as usual..... I just wanna enjoy life... :my fav sweet talk green tea with jelly.. old chang kee's sardine puff and sotong balls.. plus my current addiction of soya sauce chicken feet.. the dearie always mentions that i have an old auntie's taste buds.. Just gimme my fav food and i'll be a happy gal for the whole day..

Looking forward to the end of the month.. Jaime's wedding..Baby javen's birthday..Forbidden city at esplanade.. meeting up with the girly dearies.. a yearly birthday ritual of renewing the bonds of friendship.. and of course.. celebrating with my froggy prince and family.. yupee.. Can't wait.. time to clear my 20 overdays of leave from last year.. hopefully i'm keping my resolution of enjoying life..... by my definitions... ;p

Tennis tennis

Yupee... i got myself a tennis racket.. or rather, my dearie boy paid for it.. so tat dah.. I'm the pround owner of a "Prince" tennis racket that costs $94 after discount.. of which dearie can claim $50 from the co. as staff welfare benefits.. Opps.. Its our tennis racket.. although i'm the one using it.. ;p Been playing tennis with the sec gang kinda often.. my arms ache.. but excerise is great for a lazy bum cum tv addict like moi.. having the club membership was a good choice yah..

ha ha.. think im moving into my slack mode.. i no longer aspire to be a high flyer in my job.. like taking a back seat.. performing better than others no longer matter as much.. simply because i realise i dun feel any passion for my job at the moment.. a hard decision to make.. to stay or to move on? the money's stable.. and will be more so.. so its harder to move.. i guess.. and my mummy's advice is that i should stay put.. for wat more can i ask for?.... Oh well.. i'll give myself till the mid of next year to make a choice.. sso im pretty much trying to do other stuff.. like swim.. play tennis .. learn driving .. and many more.. sian.. on course tom..

Work and more work

Guess my blog must be one of the most neglected ones on cyberspace yah.. have gotten round to getting someone to fix my labtop yet.. must do.. soon.. Life is kinda settled.. used to life without the kakis.. kinda in limbo.. waiting for my next posting.. yet thinking that I could actually get used to the pace of shift work.. the extra allowance is great money for a struggling church mouse like me with a great shopping itch..

Although these days i find myself struggling with my ecas and the extra responsibilities.. i just wanna run away from it all.. life seems peaceful without the add ons in the first year.. sometimes i ponder whether is it worth it? the extras? i really dunnoe.. i guess you can classify me as someone who works to live and not lives to worl.. or at least i have not found my calling in work yet... Oh well.. fingers crossed.. that i can do some HR and training or admin finance .. rather than operations.. which really is not my forte.. Really...

Sian.. leave freeze for the next 3 months... really looking forward to Oct.. i wanna clear all my leave in one shot.. and satisfy my travel lust in the process... Oh well.. its a whole day of course , dialogue and work tom.. Jia you.. to moi.. :)

Proximity Fres & Quarter life crisis

Was supposed to meet collegues for dinner at Brewrekz today and was actually kinda looking forward to it, but Mel was feeling kinda tired so i cancelled as well.. for the thought of forced conversations chills me..esp wif other pple i dun know well.. Am i anti social by natural? just read somewhere abt depression for the young.. how sufferers shut themselves at home and slowly ends up cutting themselves out from the outside world.. Advice given: accept all invitations.. Easy given.. hard to follow. Nah... I'm just feeling down.. Why?

hmm... Work pals come and go.. esp at work where staff are posted ont monthly.. Guess I'm feeling down coz mine kakis at work are posting out tom.. their last day at wlds..I feel fatigue.. in having to form new bonds and making new fres, partially becoz of the speed in posting. I foresee lonely lunches n dinners whereby I will retreat into a corner at the rest room.. no more kopi chat sessions at work.. breakfast breaks. having company made the horrible food bearable.. now? the canteen food simply sucks.. big time.

Proximity fres.. as I have read before.. you become close to them because you are constantly in their company. Its the distance thingy. Once out of sight, out of mind. Reality is sinking in that Mal and Peng are such. many factors to.. peng would be in Charlie.. and that timing i would be meeting dearie and mel would be busy wif her new found romance and the timing would clash to as L is in Alpha. Great foresight tells me that we would never meet .. though mel and peng still can i guess. Perhaps too.. that wall which i have built to protect myself will become thicker will very phrase..

Perhaps that's life.. you meet diff pple during diff points in time.. and to be grateful for that. or perhaps i am sadden too that I've not met up wif han and hui for sometime. Everyone's very busy i guess.. coping wif their jobs, romances . This leaves me to ponder... have the Girly gang i used to call my own , proximity girly pals too? I admit, I dun make fres easily.. unlike the the other pastries who are more extroverted. Hmm.. Guess on the surface, one can indeed seen to have many fres.. but veri little soul mates. Hmm.. am i complaining? or suffering from quarter life crisis again?! Periodically?! Or simply depressed but in self denial?! I miss my uni days wif the Pastries n ens pple.. thankfully at least i have my dearie now..

Wonderfully Valentine's

Just felt like thanking my Jing, who made valentine's so sweet and momerable. I appreciate the effort.. although he constantly tells me he is a non-romantic person.. i see the effort.. i really do.. and love the beautiful roses .. pink and purple..and the lovely words on the card. The wonderful dinner at Chimes.. surrounded by soft Candle lights, music, alfesco styled ..slipping Sangria and glazing at him.. life can be so surreal.
Thanks thanks Boy.. for being there for me.. for cheering me up when I am down, for making me laugh and for thinking the world of me.. Only you do.. for I am just an ordinary gal who also happens to be rather lazy.. a slacker and great procrastinator. I promise, in 2006, to to less lazy and I will get down to buying your V.Day gift. Blue Donkey sits by my bedside table.. keeping me comfort in the nights.
March is indeed tiring... being at C. Room and having to deploy so many staff..and having to report to work super early.. A month where my kakis at work will start their second posting.. So hectic.. so many changes... but I look forward to watching "Army Daze" at National Library soon.. and the corporate movie screening.. Plus.. I really must not slack my whole off days away.. I promise.. to fill my life with more forfilling activities. yah?!

Hmmm.... hello 2006?

Not really a great way to kick start 2006...and my first entry of the year.. been feeling kinda sluggish... Work is okay.. settled and bonding well wif Melody and Sis Peng.. for me.. life's great.. starting to invest.. work is on track.. i am happy wif my dearie.. and i get to sleep tons on my off days... only sadness tinggling me would be the fact that Meloday and Peng plus the gang of robin and cedric have all gotten their posting preference... ie.. they will be posted out soon... hump.. kindda sad to noe that my kakis for Kopi breaks and gossip sessions are leaving doon.. by Apr.. remour has it.. and then some will be at HQ and others at extreme ends of the island.. seems like most things in life gets rather transient... oh well... I'll be posting out end 2006 or bend 2007 too...

that aside.. wat mekes me melocronic this feb day is the news that one of my JC fres passed away today.. of Cancer.. yah.. we sort of expected him to leave soo... he looked so frail and was struggling with every breathe he takes... he had looked totally a diff .. worn out version of his former self... burkets of tears had been shed the last time we visted him in the hospic... a young man amindst the other older Cancer patients... but weirdly... today i only feel a slight tingle of sadness... and i was thinking.. maybe life can be so simple after all.. to lower down my expectations.. to have time to smell the air of fallen after the rain.. to so the many things i hold dear.. to confrom less to societal demands... and be proactive in doing the things i've always wanted to do.. for myself and for my beloved ones.. i wanna take time to tell them how much i value their presence in my life... would my existence in life be tangible? would pple remember me ? Melody has also have had expereince great sadness in her life when her loved one left her after a short short moment which they shared together... hmm... but i guess... in the end... all sadness gets washed away with the passenge of time..no?!

The Price of Beauty

Guess wat i did? Yup.. I went to have those tiny bits of black dots removed.. the lady at the salon seemde quite nice.. she was telling me wat all the black dots represent.. a bit zen and quite like a fortunte-telling session.. it still hurts a fair bit when she uses the needle to poke at my face.. trying to get the cream in.. afterwhile my face was pretty red for quite a while.. the whole thing was rather fast.. slightly over half an hour and I'm done with the treatment.. although it did burn a deep hole in my pockets.. and i walked out wif spots of whit cream shattered all over my face.. think I must have scared quite a number of people who met me.. and poor ck.. who had to put up with my freaky face..

oh .. that is just the begining man.. the next day i had to work ( oh.. i really wanted to take urgent leave..) .. the white cream has washed off and now my black spots.. have become even bigger black spots.. and i looked like i had just recovered from a blot of chicken pox.. oh.. think i gave my boss quite a shock when i talked to him about something.. he kinda went black for a while... oh.... and now.. as i seat typing this... my face is covered wif cream.. hoping that the burn spots will go away..... keep my fingers crossed.. otherwise you will soon see a gal walking to ya wif great black spots on her face... so ugly.. yucks.. think i am freaking myself out too... am.. my mum still dosen't noe about it...oh... god bless..

Facials

Just went for my third facial during my off day yesterday... that set me thinking about Facials.. deemed to be extremely beneficial to the skin and adored by ladies all round.. hmm... to me.. it also represents two extremes.. hump... wat do i mean? Extremely relaxing and extremely painful.. When the beautician takes her tools and start poking at ya with the tweezers and unknown scary tools .. (well... my eyes were closed yah).. you feel as if you have reached your threshold of pain... Ouch! I can still feel the dread that fills me when i know that she has reached that unbearable stage of the treatment..

Extreme Bliss.. the other 1hr ++ where you truely feel relaxed and pampered under the beautician's skillful arms... Zzzz... You can easily fall asleep.. with the cold cold mask covering you.. the aircon blowing .. music in the background.. and the massaging on your face and body...oh.. truely haven... So, a facial for ya?? It does wonders for ya skin and burns a great hole in your pocket.. oh.. till my next facial..;p

"Big Long Now "

Yupee... I finally finished watching my "Big Long Now" .. It was 70 episodes.. and being the drama addict that i can be... phew... I've finished watching it.. Great ending.. the typical korean drama where everything ends well..with the heroine ending up happy wif the hero.. but.. hey.. she is the more capable than her man yah..kindda good a show to watch if you are feminist... " Why is a woman's status always lower than man?"

... Thank god I'm a morden gal living in morden gal Singapore.. although sometimes i still think the status quo and the gender issuse reminds deeply embedded even against this morden backdrop.. like the lower quota for female medical students.. less welfare benefits for female employees.. and even in the family.. I still vividly rem when i was younger... my parent used to say in hokkien " give birth to chicken egg you dun.. but shit you do" and words like " if you cannot study... go work in a factory" .. Now years later.. in a weird way.. i've finally proved that I'm the more brainy child to him.. that I could also study and earn as much.. if not more than my bro.. weird.. why am i suddenly recounting these memories from my childhood? When i have always known that he prefered my bro to me.. Hump.. must be the hodes of people outside kranji i saw today.. i kept thinking that i would see his face in the crowd of uncles exiting after the races.. oh well..

Chalet chalet and my usual musings

Yup... I just slept and slept and slept for hours today.. Totally absolutely decadent.. It's one of those days you wake up and dress for work noeing that you just wanna come back home immediately after..din even remember to wear my earrings and just slipped on a pair of flat shoes.. yup.. its one of those days.. maybe its biological...my aunty just wears me down.. oh..

Aunty decided to make her appearance at the last day of my chalet.. hee.. yup.. just came back from a short holiday ay Downtown East.. Din really do much except slacking... the B.B.Q was wonderful.. we brought just enough food and it was kindda fun trying to prevent the food from burning..yummy.. and we went cyclying too.. the weather was great.. din get to swim though.. i forgot my swimsuit.. Opps.. and I was nursing a really horrid face with lots of scarring after my facial....Ouhh... ( i can still feel the pain as Cindy tried to squeeze everything out.. but thats another story yah..) hmm... its back to work ..work and work..till my next break!!

Passed my law exams.. happy.. at least I dun have to study for it again...and will not be on the look-out for a new job so soon.. ha ha.. almost 9 months in the organization.. i can just imagine my mum freaking out if i even look through the pages of Recruit.. ah...... the ever stable near Iron-rice bowl (or the closet one to it ...) that the older generation thinks is most important.. *hump*.....oh well... at least July is bonous month.. means retail therapy yah.. :) Oh... I'm a complusive shopaholic.... and its no coincidence that the book I'm currently reading is titled " Confessions of a Shopaholic"!! .. Which reminds me.. its time to get back to my book... I still have a very thick Harry potter book to get through ..

Allo July

Wow... July is here..Have graduated for nearly one year.. Cheerios to moi for having survived one year.. went to Chinatown yesterday .. the area is quite a nice place to hide from the maddening weekend crowd. have chocolate fondue from Village.. a Marche like resturant at China Square.. Yup.. my first choc fondue!! Great nite off, felt relaxed although I still have tons of work to settle.. and that presentation...ha ha.. and except for the unfortunate incident at the lift landing.. opps.. tougues are gonna wag.. oh..no..
Yup..... Work and leisure balance.. I wanna enjoy July!!!

Silly old me

.. Just returned from a course.. sign*.. have yet to get started on the presentation i'm supposed to be workin on.. lazy lazy procrastinator... *i shld attempt my hardest to finish my tasks on time.. chop chop.. Yah.. gonna be my last few days at chops.. finally dun have to wake up so early anymore.. meet up wif the ens pple for ktv that day.. shocking.. so many uob bankers amongst them.. jinny.. novan..andrew n melvin.. oh.. a growing list.. quite funny actually.. we used to sing ktv in our casual student attire.. nowadays.. all are dressed in the working man's attire..signalling our transition into working class world... seems like yest when we were all gathered outside parliment building taking our grad photos.. hmm... time flies.. jinny commented that maybe one day be would be in our ah ma attire.. being helped into the rm by our grandchildren.. ha ha.. scary.. can't imagine..

... *sign.. think i feel fatigue at times.. work fatigue? i dunnoe too.. hope to take a short breather soon.. hmm... guess my slacker side is domineering huh.. sad too that our batch seems so segregated at times.. or maybe we just dun click? oh... guess i have to learn that its okay this way... ahhh.. should i get started on my presentation slides??!!

Thoughts on a lazy Mon

Hmm... seems like i'm still stuck to my cable shows.. my HK serials .. Current fav being this show on swimming... *sign* I wanna go swimming soon.. Discovery Travel and Living is my next fav.. City Cabs.. Globe Trekker.. how i wish i was the one travelling to those exoctic places... Oh.. But we will always have alot of wans in life ..yah..?!

Been reading Blogs.. getting insights to how my friends have been... Glad to see some innovative ones and i can definately identify wif certain thoughts.. and gripples abt life.. Guess that is something common for Soci students.. haven really been able to attend gatherings becoz of my work shedule.. sadz.. But hmm.. guess many of us are dealing wif the same problems as befitting our social class and age group.. finding that all impt stable job.. most end up not challenging the status quo and becoming faithful civil servants.. So where have all our ideals abt changing the system gone? I find myself not remebering much abt what I've learnt for the past 4 years as I learn new things relating to my job.. Hoep to meet up wif the class soon..

.. May and june are birthday months.. given the busy shedule that we have as working adults.. you often end up meeting your fres for special occasions.. oh.. met up wif Xinhui recently.... was not feeling well that day.. but i still met up wif her.. am glad i did.. guess i never knew that both of us have realised the change and distance we felt wif Han.. My eyes felt like tearing as i lamented abt the changes.. hmm.. to a certain extent.. i do feel that ive lost a fre i treasured.. but.. somehow.. i believe that its temp.. and a phrase that she will have to get over and we'll always be there for her.. although our careers and paths have differed greatly.. i still wan the old han back.. how i wish we were back at uni days.. Perhaps things will be better wif she can find someone who will treasure her for the great gal that she really is.. ah.. but i'm glad xinhui is back wif xinming.. she's another busy bee.. happy wif her new co. and job.. wonder when we will be meeting to celebrate her b.day.. At least i already got her present ready

I'll be meeting Fenfen and Wenyun later.. celebrating fen's birthday.. seems like a ritural we do yearly.. abt this time.. and we'll all noe that its to celebrate her b.day.. wonder when is the next harry Potter movie coming up.. its another girlie ritural for us.. :)

Time flies

I'm back.. not a veri consistant blogger am i..been some time since i have written..finally tore myself away from the lure of my cable tv shows.. think i'm in danger of becoming a tv addiict.. :)

... Was reading serene and lili's blog.. glad to noe that I'm not the only one copping wif changes after the mortar board.. strange huh..the amazing rate that time seems to fly.. wat was i doing this time last year? At bangkok.. Changmai or china wif my pals.. looking back..that period seems so transcient... wink... blink.. and its gone... those days of doing nothing..fresh out of school wif dreams and expectations.. i wonder how is the rest of the class getting along.. hope we really can manage to form a table for Aug.. think it will be quite cool.. class of 2004.. can get to see the usual suspects den..

hee.. am chatting wif puppy as i write this.. she's gonna go Perminpin this long weekend.. just came back frm jerankang too.. heee.... so lucky.. wish i could join her.. miss Jerankang alot.. and Sam's food.. am drooling just thinking of his famous herbal chix wif wine.. yummy.. but think physically i wun be able to last ..ha ha.. if only i can cheat and just join them at the camp sites..

Past few months seems to fly.. at least now i no longer have the weight for studying for the Law exams on my hands.. keep my fingers crossed.. otherwise i may have to study for it again one more time.. yucks.. just came back from KL wif ck.. the hotel was quite okay.. bukit bintang was just nearby .. but time when you are not working always seens veri short.. I wonder when will i be able to take a longer break? ha ha.. hmm...oh no..someone is shaking head liao.. ;p

Work and Play

Its been nearly 2 mths since my posting at the checkpts..seems like i'm truely a slow learner. I still make the most unforgivable mistakes..makes me ponder..am i really suited for this job? Or am i not making enough effort? Neber one to do many things concurrently..i guess i will have to learn to cope, after all, its my bread and butter here... and the organization is so small and compertitive.

Time seems to fly..feb is ending.. and i seem not to have acheievd much in this new year.. no time to watch my Vcds..to excersie (or am i just lazy..) ..and to learn driving.. still remb last time this year i was struggling wif my thesis..how fast everything changes. feb certaintly has its wonderful moments..v day was great for i apprecaite the effort and thought put in.. although i was working on the day itself.. Shift work can truely be quite damaging on sleeping patterns..for i feel myself sleeping more and more.. looking forward to mar..for i finally get to take a short holidae..oh well..when can i take a full fledged one?!.. Got a presenation tom..Sianz .. and thoughts on my upcoming Law exam in Apr..i thought i have already said goodbye to my study days?!

work work and more work..

Just got my uniform altered recently..quite pleased to hear lots of compliments frm collegues that i look smart in blue.. overall the uniform is still too big for me and my pants are still too auntie.. arh.. have to wear pants on my nite shift soon.. sad..i still dun understand how a product that is tailored and supposed to be made according to my measurements be so unfitting.. wat is the rational in having it tailored if i have to end up getting it altered again? Might as well have sizes and i alter myself..more efficent that way..oh well.. just a thought but at least now i dun have to worry abt wat clothes i have to wear to work each day.. den again.. gives me more reason to buy new casual clothes..
..haiz.. really dunnoe where all my money goes to each month..think I'm a spendtriff.. i buy too much clothes..too much useless staff and hmm.. now..where else did my money go.. must really start budgeting and planning for some investments.. wooh.. alot of things i wanna do.. huh.. but i guess wat is most pressing is to get a hang of the operations as well as the admin side of things.. must really jia you.. think its not easy..many pple judging you..assessing you.. tom is another working day.. more complex relations between co-workers.. :)

When a molehill became a mountain

Something happened at work recently that made me truely realise that the working world is indeed not the same as the study world i use to inhabit.. I was put on duty wif another person and we were short handed that nite... although I was hasitant abt being left on my own when my partner goes for his rest..i gamely agreed to take on the challenge.. but.. my collegue..being the kind person that he is..refused to go take his rest at the allocated time.. he stayed on to help me..in case there are cases that I cannot handle.. i was grateful.. and mentioned it to the person in charge of the roster that Mr Ng refused to go and rest..

I went to work the following nite feeling cheery..i saw on the roster that instead of putting 2 person like the previous..there was an additional person deployed there.. so i innocently commented that..heyz..tonite I'm put as understudy again.. and my boss also pop by and ask me how i was coping.. but later on i realised..to my dismay and absolute shock..people are commenting that the additional manpower was deployed there becouse I could not handle my work..thata why they need to put so many pple at such a easy place.. my heart sank.. and i was truely depressed that whole nite.. i mean... Mr Ng refused to go and rest dispite my constant asking..and his kindness has resulted in me being labelled as incompetent..and him feeling gulity for causing me so much trouble...haiz.. how can people make judgements without understanding the entire story..how can something so simpe be so distorted..its truely scarely ...come to think of it..that messages get distorted as it passes frm person to person.. I may be a slow learner..but i do put in effort to learn my wk and to be labelled as incompetent for no reason leaves me sad and angry..think the wking world is too complex..wonder how and i going to survive the next few decades huh..