Numbness

a tad hurt at her nonchalance regarding the wedding,
maybe i hurt her with my betrayal, our easy acceptance of him.
the ease in welcoming him back into our lives.
bro says she was deeply hurt. by our betrayal.
maybe our views on the subject matter are not aligned. given our positions.
at this point in time, with the wedding upcoming, it does not matter much anymore.
my heart is kinda immure, from the many rounds of battering.
i am unable to discuss the matter with her, the lack of interest from her.
the dear says i've been affected, with my unconscious venting of frustrations over small matters.
i wonder how long i can keep the facade up?
that everything is progressing well unilaterally.
for every non response cuts at the fabric of the whole. i act cheerful, i joke, when tears are welling up within. time after time.
in retrospect, i could have handled confessions better.
but, keeping too much secrets is a burden on itself. i felt relieved, to have come clean on the matter. or perhaps, some things are best left unsaid. as i have learn the hard way.
why? does the ties of kin fade with the passage of time?
sometimes i wonder, what constitutes significant to her?
or perhaps, the hurt i caused her, is the most significant aspect of the issue.