Goodbye 2010

The year has passed so very fast. Late nights and long days at work for a major part of the year. Looking back, i'm amazed that i managed the long hours and the 2 portfolios. Its great that the extra portfolio has been given away and that i ended the year on maternity leave.

And, of carrying and birthing my baby. The pregnancy was a smooth one and we become newly minted parents. Its a huge change, this thing called parenthood. A lifetime of responsibility to the little one ( The days seems to fly by although i'm doing nothing much except caring for the little one) Oh, plus loads of weight gain, lack of clothes..shoes shopping and complementary stretch marks. Hee..

2011 would be filled with my baby's milestones, i'm sure. Although i do wanna meet with my friends more if possible. Goodbye 2010! Its been a fruitful year, of drastic changes. With more abound in the year ahead.

Turning 30

Gosh, I'm turning thirty in a few days. The past decade has flew by so very fast. Graduated from Uni, got my first job, first boyfriend (the dearie) whom i married, got our own place, travelled to Europe and Japan, started my second job and now expecting my little one.

Time flies and it takes great effort to maintain ties with the friends i so cherish. I so hope the next ten years will be wonderful as well. Had high tea today at Fullerton Hotel's The Courtyard with Fen. Hee.. scones with cream and jam makes moi a happy babe. So good to catch up with friends.. Birthday celebrations these days are subtle and without fanfare. Feels good to catch up with the good friends.. The countdown to the big 3 zero has began.

Bottled Up

I wish that he would lead a proper life, I pray that he would come to his senses. I hope that he would one day become more sensible, responsible and rational. I so wish that he would make good of his life.. For her sake. Its not too much to ask for, I sure hope. He remains my greatest source of worry, even if I have to shoulder the responsibility alone. I will. Or perhaps, I am simply too harsh, my expectations of him too high. Whatever, will have to see how it pends out..

Gotta Luv Her

So I confess, I'm a huge fan of J.K Rowling..and had thoroughly enjoyed reading her books. Here's a wonderful speech from Rowling for Potter and non-Potter fans alike. Strangely, I have no recollection of speeches at my own commencement ceremony many years back. Enjoy. :)

A familar route

The bus service which I have not taken in years. The bro says its been 16 years since. Time flies. The feeder service i used to know so well in my teens. The route from school to home and home to school. The childhood home. We've always travelled by car to his place in the past 1-2 years we've visited. So it felt nostalgic, seating on the bus with the bro. Taking the once familiar route of my childhood. Sometimes life passes you by so fast, that you dun often remember the past. Yesterday's bus trip was one of those days where nostalgia sweeps over in waves.

The neighbourhood has changed, the buildings tinted white brown with the dust particles in the wind. The area now looks shabby, in need of refurbishing; so unlike the home from yesteryear. Just like how he's aged in the intertwining years. The greatest enemy of one? Its the passage of time.

New Year, looking back at 2009

A year has passed. So very fast.

2009 in summary? It was a year of change. The year moi changed jobs, taking a pay cut to do a new portfolio. It was a long wait for the switch. But I'm glad I did. Although I still feel nostalgic about the old work organisation. After all, I've been there for nearly 5 years. I cannot imagine moi self being at the new place for the next 5 years. Will see how it goes. One thing for sure, the work life journey is a long one.. so its alright to take breaks along the way. Work days passes.. Mondays leads to Wednesdays to Fridays. And the weeks fly by. Before you noe it, a year has passed huh. I'm so used to being busy during the holidays which is peak at the old workplace. At the new place, at least I can plan for long weekends and getaways if I wanna. Yes, I will in the year to come.

Have been lazy, not meeting up often with the mommie due to the distance. Its a guilt that eats at moi. So, I'll do more family gatherings and do some cooking in the process. Outings with the mommie. Plus meet ups with the gal pals for high teas and wat nots.

For the travel tally is sadly dismal. Only went to Penang in early 2009, went for a cruise to Penang and Thailand with the family, another family trip to Macau in July and 2 family trips to Malaysia. Its great to travel on short trips, but it would be more ideal to have a longer get-away a year. Yes, a longer trip and a few more short get-aways please.

Being eating way to much, too unhealthily for the past year. The weight seems to have stuck. Not used to the fatty moi, so the pics get lesser, and moi a tad depressed and reclusive. So, I will eat more healthy, and hopefully fit into smaller sized clothes. Plus, throw in abit of excise as well. Hah..

On the wealth aspect, still lacking in the savings part. The moolah is still tied in investments. Although I've finally gotten down to increasing the financial portfolio bit by bit. Not much liquid savings on hand, so need to save more. Live more frugally. I was kinda amazed that a friend of the dearie has x amount of liquid assets purely for investments. Thats like so many times more than moi. I believe its time to rethink the excessive splurging. After all, I wanna retire at 55 with revenue generating assets if i get to live that long.

Yup, its a similar kind of year that has passed in 2009. Still finding my calling career wise. Still neglecting the usual components. Hope this changes in 2010 for this silly donkey.

Being Contented

JW has a pre-existing medical condition which we are all aware of, since the sec school days. Reading his blog about watching others with the same medical condition passing on, his fear of the eventual coming as he grows older, telling us about the unpredictability of life and the need to treasure it. It worries me, saddens me.

I know, we keep talking about retirement and planning for the future. Enjoying the fruits of one's life long labour upon retirement in this country. But, how long is the flame gonna stay lighted in your life? My life? Its at times like this that I reflect upon the meaning of my existence. Would I still work so hard for tomorrow? Staring at the never ending emails crafted in standard corporate lingo. If I know that tomorrow may not come, for the harvesting.

So wanna find something worry-free, stress-free, care-free,time-free which i can indulge in. Ahem.. Suggestions anyone??

Carpe Diem..everyone!!

Life the life you want!!

Mousey and Bossy

At times i feel that i am a good example of being Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde. In my case..alternating between being mousey and bossy.

Mousey moi in the office, when interacting with the bosses. Still the inept blue donkey who wanna be the tigger. Even in mid-life. Why? Still so shell-in and bottled-up. Why not be moiself? So what if the real moi is goofy?

Bossy to the family members. I can be rather nasty to the ones who love moi the most. The bro and the mommie. And the dearie too. Maybe its because i express my concerns by wanting the best for the bro, and end up being too critical. Distancing myself because of disappointment. Yet, i do know that he is free to live the life he chooses to. It cuts at me when i know i've hurt them, yet.. i don't know how to tell them i'm sorry. So porcupine huh.

And so Jekyll and Hyde.

Gosh! Grow up and love moiself more, please!

Looking Back

The good thing about blogging is that you would be able to return back to your thoughts, captured thru yesteryears. In a rather narcissistic manner.

Although what i am afraid of, is that the musings remains constant throughout the years. Even worse, would be the realisation that the years have been frittered away in a colourless drab existence.

An example: " Yah!! Its friday tomorrow!!" [ repeated in countless posts down the road].. which pretty much sums up this work week..[ feeling repeated many years down the road]. Urrgghh!!

To end this post: Yah!!! Its friday tomorrow!!

Gratitude

At the train, everyday, the message reads:

"There is a calmness to a life lived in gratitude. A quiet joy"

I totally agree. So very simple, yet so difficult in actuality.

New Routine

The dearie is back on shift work..although he needs to do only 1 night shift per week. This has altered our established pattern. When he's on afternoon shift, i can stay longer at work because i dun have to eat at the in-laws. It also means less home-cooked food. Yeeepps.

Its actually straining to be putting long hours at the workplace. Especially when one knows that one has no career luck with the series of unfortunate incidents which leaves one feeling low on energy. The glass always seems greener from the other side.. whichever side you happen to be viewing from. * Sign* Nostalgic about the old work place. But, i guess its a blessing to be able to fret about such trivial issues. Not needing to worry for the basic necessities in life. One is never contented with one's lot in life.. that's why we are constantly unhappy complainey peeps. Learn to count our blessings on a daily basis... Yah!

Carbon Copies

This is a generation which grown up under the ethos that one needs to study hard to move up in life. Yet, upon getting the requisite degree scroll..life becomes empty. You may not get to choose the type of job that you are passionate about.. you end up doing work for the sake of working and for money. Not really happy, yet not really unhappy because you are already more fortunate than many others..

Sometimes, it takes alot of courage to chase your dreams. Yet, the most pitiful are the ones who never have any dreams to chase. Life is simply living the motions of living. Carbon copies in this society of ours. I think, a blessed person is someone who is passionate about something, whatever that thing may be. Sometimes i wonder, if i had not been realistic in getting the required education, or had done badly enough to fail my exams.. would i be a more happy person chasing a realisable/unrealisable dream?! Like working in the hospitality line or working in the fashion line.. ??! * Ponders* Will i ever find something i am passionate about? This dreamless me..

Moving Onz

Time flies when you are on vacation. The decadence of splurging, the luxury of elusive time. Its been a great break after 5 years in the job mart.. 5 full weeks of vacation.

• I've travelled ( although not as much and to the destination that I want to)
• I've rested
• I've read (both blogs and books)
• I've blogged
• I've shopped (both online and in the stores)
• I've watched some vcds
• I've ate at nice restaurants I wanted to try out
• I've played with the cute niece and nephew loads
• I've baked a fair bit

Many things which could not have been done in such abundance and easy pace on a working adult's schedule. Indeed, time is a scarcity these days.. and its time to focus on work.. or rather, work is a time consuming activity that takes up a great chunk of time. Being married, the rest of the time is split between the hubby, the family, the in-laws, the home, the friends, the computer. No wonder there are so many idiosyncrasies and illness that is associated with stress of modern living and the lack of time.

All the splurging aside, August represents a fresh start.. to be a frugal working moi. The end of my 20s is dawning, I've gotta save more for retirement and investment. I believe its possible.. when i first started working, I remember saving for months just to get a pretty bag i convert.. and when i was a poor struggling student in my final year, one bag was enough to last moi the entire school year.. there was also one year where mommie was in poor health and not working much.. the year, moi only had one part of shoes for the entire year. So, its time to readjust the mentality. The current lifestyle is comfortable..but, tits time to splurge less on frivolous stuff and to save for rainy days. Aizz..This probably means only one branded bag per year and to get more mileage on my personnel effects. so, this posting will serve as a 'reminder' to moiself yah..

Porcupine Moi

Sometimes i feel like a porcupine when i am on the defensive. When i feel hurt and defensive, the spines come out in full force to protect the wounded pride. Yet, the spines are often directed at those who care the most for this silly one. Perhaps its because of the secureness of their love, and the underlying knowledge that thy love ones are the only ones who will unconditionally forgive the sharp spines..thoughtless actions. Oh.. Thou really have to remove thy spines for the unmatured gal to grow up...

Material Being

Finally gotten down to do a bit of cleaning round the house. Figured that i'll probably not make a good stay home wifey..cleaning's not really my forte..so having a day job is good.. gives me reason to outsource house-keeping. ;p

As I was going thru the many pieces of clothing, little bit of pieces of items i have, it struck me that.. being able to do a simple chore of arranging my material possessions that i hold dear, means ample security in the being. Of daily living. Not having to worry about bread and butter, basic amenities.. Its a blessing in itself.. in the boring predictability of daily living.

Someone once asked me what i want in life..i din answer den. Now, i'll say.. Just to be able to grow old in good health with my loved ones (hopefully add 1 or 2 great kids in the equation). With a job which i hopefully enjoy doing that pays for the daily bread. Just mundane predictability. No thank you to roller coaster ups and downs, please. And I'm blessed.

Stupid ah..

Sometimes i make stupid decisions at work that comes back to haunt me big time. silly silly old me. and sometimes i think too much about how my peers would discern me based on my ability at work, or inability rather. aiz. wats done cannot be undone. so so silly, so so glad i am moving onz.big time. dunnoe wat more stupid things i'll get myself into yahz. frivolous old moi who could have made a more respectable decision. still kicking meself inwardly...probably that's why moi thinks moi is better off doing a simple small biz.. ;p