Melancholic Week

2 deaths in the past week and long long working hours seem to have taken its toll on me..

one an old school mate whom i noe of.. he's a nice chap.. the abruptness of life ..
fate seems cruel sometimes, for he had a bright future.
A freak accident it feels like.
Can't help feeling shivers. For it could be me or anyone else am close to.
If I were to leave, i have anythings i wanna do..and have not done..

the other is the husband of a collegue.
his passing mirrors that of my fav teacher's husband
also no signs and without warning
i should spent my time with my mummy
for one can never predict accurately when a loved one may leave
me mummy laments that she's getting old
i noe her health is not as good as before..
i wanna spent more time with my loved ones.. i really do..

.. hmm.. but my supposedly inefficent self means i have loads of work
and deadlines that i cannot adhere to..
challenging work.. but hard to balance ground operations with staff work at times
we are overly stretched.. there should be more defined jobscopes for us,
the higher mgt tries, i hope..
the only section that works longer than the other sections, due to high cyclic renewals for services.. i think i'm starting to feel inadequte, to dread the crowds..
to fill the expectations and standards labelled on us because of the seniority of our positions
1am sleeping time.. to drag myself out of bed at 6am. 6 days week. yesterday i completely zonked out by 9pm.. after the heavy dinner. Brought work home, but can't seem to make myself work. Slept most of today away.. shaicks..

time is living me..
yet i promise i must treasure my loved ones more,
haiz...

its the dear one's bithday on tuesday..
and i have not planned anything special,
not a good galfreie.............
maybe a short getaway next year..
i promise... really..