Weekend's Here

The weekend's here, surf's up..hee. We managed to eat a nice meal of jap food which i have been craving for at Tampines 1's Sushi Tei, although i feel that the quality has deteriorated over time. Our sashimi salad used to have more chunks of raw fish. The tonkatsu that came with our cha soba was almost breaking my teeth and abit sourish. I've always felt that i do not have a discerning palate, and am happy with simple food.. the tonkatsu was simply urgghh.. will not be heading to Sushi Tei for some time to come.

On a brighter note, we've gotten ourselves a photo printer for our camera and a pretty pink casing as well. Happie. Plus, we finally caught Transformers 2 on the big screen in sg. The bro had wanted us to watch the show in macau with him.. i find Josh Duhamel quite cute as Major Lennox.. Mindless Tinseltown entertainment at its best.. Eye candy, good vs evil , Optimus Prime leading the autobots in saving the earth from the evil decepticons..

i can still vaguely remember the transformer cartoon which was showing when i was younger...just like the care bears, smurfs, gummy bears, he men cartoons. Once upon a time, i used to think that i'll only watch cartoons my entire life.. those were the days. If you noe the cartoons i'm talking about, you are probably from my era.. ;p

My Gossip Girl

Golly, managed to finish the entire first season of Gossip Girl over the past few days. The series was seating in the drawer the entire few months and i finally got down to watching it. Hee, can't wait to get my hands on the second season. Too bad that we've decided to get starhub cable instead of mio tv..so i'll probably get it via Amazon.. one can live vicariously thru surreal drama, yeah!

The week's almost gone in a twinkle. Have read some books. More Books to go. Would probably add to the repertoire. Have watched a tv series. More dramas to be popped into the disc player. Been blogging a bit. The daily reading list of blogs have been expanding. Still kicking myself for not grabbing the Antique Rose Mabel Mulberry Bag that was so so heavy discounted when i had the chance to. Still wondering whether the postman will bring good tidings, still so unsettled and uncertain about the future. Still nursing the health. Still surfing the web. Still trying to eat healthy. Still saving up for the big ticket purchases. Still being just me. Just loving the "Me time".

Grocery Shopping Online

Yipee, we've just done grocery shopping online yesterday. I've always felt that its totally unglam and uncool having to lag home kgs of washing liquid, huge packet of raw rice, cans and cans of drinks, toilet paper etc. So very unglam and totally auntiey yah.. But, the mundane necessities still has to be brought, coz they are necessities mah. The solution? Get someone to deliver your bulky purchases !! $5 for purchases over $100, i think its quite worth the moolah..I'm totally a convert.. hee..Poor delivery person, for all our purchases are heavy heavy items.. opps.

Of course online selections are limited and cannot totally replace the feeling of shopping at the physical store itself. The dearie and i can spend hours looking at the rows of items, before making our selections. So, it'll just be for the bulky items that we'll purchase online..best of all, you can do it 24/7.. :)

The Wifey Cooks

Since i'm on vacation, there's no excuse not to get hot and sweaty in the kitchen (pun intended hee..).. by cooking lah, and trying out new recipes which I can easily replicate for our dinner. Must be good wifey mahz, cannot make the dearie cook all the time..So for today's dinner, ta dah.. old cucumber soup and rice cooker claypot chicken rice.

Beri simple meal.. Coz the mother in law pre-prepares various cuts of meat in ready to cook packs which i just need to defrost. I had a pack of chix meat and used part of it for the soup and the other half for the rice. Just add chix, red dates or sweet dates and old cucumber and the soup is done. The rice is also easy, using a recipe i saw on a food blog i read, whereby you just have to marinate the chicken with light and dark soya sauce, sesame oil, pepper and ginger slices and simply add the marinated meat and mushrooms into the rice cooker and cook! A beri simple and easy one dish meal which i will definitely be whipping up often. Will prob throw in abit of wax sausages to make it more claypot chix ricey for the next try.. yums.

Another Pair into the Shoe Closet

Yupz, tits the 3rd pair this month and i've not worn the other 2 pairs of 9west heels i bought in Macau yet.. but this pair is cheap and comfy. After offsetting with the $30 voucher i had, the balance was only $9.90 (which the dearie paid for hee..). Its such a comfy pair that i am tempted to get another pair in black as well, coz i always end up buying shoes which tortures my poor feet and gives me blisters.. ;p

a gal can never have too many pairs of shoes yah.. although the shoe limit otta be 10 pairs a year.. especially since i wear off the bottoms of the heals fairly fast.. For the record, moi have decided to set the bag count limit to 6 per year . *Fingers crossed* that i keep to my quotas..

The Dearie Frets

The dearie is fretting over his new specs which is considered his major purchase of the year. He thinks that he was coerced into buying the specs by us and that the shop has gotten the model wrong. Oh wellz, moi thinks that the specs makes him look sporty with the silver frames.. while he clearly prefers his old pair of Armani black specs..preference and taste is rather subjective anyways.. ;p

Wanderlust- Macau & Zhuhai

I like to travel for the elusive 'Been there at that point in time" feel. The traveller who is only stopping by for that few days. Also, for the chance to explore other culture, lifestyles, cuisines.

The first impression that Macau gave me, was that the city exists for tourists and gamblers. With hotels and casinos dotting the landscape. We flew by Tigerairways, which landed in Macau itself. Our hotel is 5 mins away from the airport and located on the Cotai Strip. The locale is the nearest to any airport I've ever been to and we stayed at the Bella Suite, which could accommodate the whole entourage.

Pics of our suite

2nd Day- We trooped over to Zhuhai, China which borders Macau on our second day. It was a hassle though, having to clear thru immigration on both ends. We managed to find our way to Wan Zai Seafood Street, where we choose our own fresh seafood from the many stores along the street. Great variety.. And we got a restaurant to cook our chosen items (the restaurant charges for the cooking only). Our entire seafood meal consisting of live abalone, prawns, oysters, crabs and veg costs around RMB $400 (S$80)..a totally yums meal.

Selecting our live seafood Cooked Version
Wan Zai Seafood Street

After a hearty meal, we went to the Gongbei underground mall which is just next to the Macau-Zhuhai Borders for some retail therapy.



GongBei Underground Mall

Did my nails at the underground mall as well. About $110 RMB for manicure and pedicure which includes nail art.

Having a "Tai tai" moment with loud colours..

We had drinks at an atas cafe called Cafe E.S.Kimo at the underground mall before departing Zhuhai.

My Apple and Rose Tea

Pics taken from the Macau side of the borders after our trip to Zhuhai. Its quite amazing how the cost of living is so much lower once you cross over to China..

Day 3- We explored Macau town and enjoyed the view from Macau Tower. Also went to Largo do Senado, which is the Macau downtown with its shops and cafes.

Spectacular view from the top of Macau Tower
Largo do Senado
Enjoying Steamed Milk Pudding at one of the cafes at Largo do Senado


Iconic Macau Landmark at Largo do Senado

For our last night in Macau, we managed to find a restaurant which served very decent Portuguese cuisine. The restaurant is called Restaurante "A Lorcha" which is located at Rua Do Almirante Serigo No. 289 R/C Macau. There are a few restaurants serving Portuguese food along the stretch. The food was wonderful and we had a jug of Sangria to go along with the food. We had Kale soup, Seafood soup, really fantastic seafood rice Portuguese style, unforgettable clams cooked Spanish style, Bacalhau (Salted Cod)with potato baked in cream and African chicken. Only the chicken was a tad salty and not to our liking. The meal was more pricey at about $700 MOP but well worth the moo-lah. We will definitely do return visits to the restaurant if we are in Macau.. Sluppz.

Dinner at A Lorcha
Signature Portuguese dishes like Bacalhau. Portions are huge and great for sharing

Hee hee, and of course, no overseas trip is complete without the requisite shopping. Better that spending the moo-lah on the reels rightz?. So tadah, my purchases..or rather, the only items i could afford coz everything else was so expensive in the touristy resort. My only regret was not having time to explore the supermarkets for items not available in Singapore due to the busy schedule. A must do for all my travels,yah.. Oh, and not having time to queue for Pork Cutlet burger from the famous Lord Stow's Bakery ; which is just by our hotel.. ;p

Till the next trip.. yah........

i wanna..

In this 1 month hiatus of mine.. :

i wanna travel.
i wanna read.
i wanna watch my soappy serials.
i wanna swim.
i wanna cook.
i wanna bake.
i wanna blog.
i wanna shop.
i wanna play with the cute nephew & niece.
i wanna have more 'me time'.
i wanna rest.
i wanna indulge and pamper myself... :)

Last Day @ the work place

friday was a day which i have waited anxiously for. yet, as i walked into office that morning, past the public area with the red plastic chairs, i felt a slight tangle of the heart, afterall, i have spent the 4.5 years in the organization, the last 2.5 years in the unit. good and bad times, good and bad memories. i've learnt alot in the past few years..from the big boss, from the exboss.. while i started out not noeing what i wanted to do, i now noe what i do not like to do, and the conditions that i can live with or without.

life at the unit has improved drastically from the madness that was 2007, with its workload, projects and new initiatives.. with more manpower, lesser and predefined workload, indeed life is good. my staff asked me.. " things have improved greatly, why are you leaving?". my answer: "this is the best time to leave". not when the conditions were tough, coz that means you leave because you are in a pressure cooker. leaving now signifies that my leaving is not because of the heavy workload. a myriad of factors, both push and pull. major long term considerations.. like passion for the work, public interface, shift work, constraints of the scheme, practises which i cannot concede with.. my regret? not making the move earlier, maybe..bittersweetness..

tingle of sadness, at leaving the colleagues who have become lunch khakis, good friends.. who share the same situation, aspirations of work and life.. of leaving the comfort zone. of uncertainty at the new place, with the posting still unfinalized at such a late moment.. an arbitrary decision from the HR department of both sides which may alter where i end up.. coz i am not gonna be doing the portfolio i originally moved for. hmm..the mantra to uphold: " if it does not work out, fret not.. move on..regret not the decision you make, but the decision you did not make.."

i surely will miss Mel dearly, and mdm R as well.. and my batch mates.. and team mates from the shift work era.. this last week was a furry of farewell lunches and dinners. after the deleting, shredding and clearing, the work station no longer holds traces of me, just like the unit will no longer hold traces of me.. its just this easy to erase me, the 2.5 years in the unit. the only mementos that i take away are my bags of personnel effects, pics of the work station, colleagues and the farewell gifts from thoughtful colleagues and fres.. wish me luck.. in the great move to the unknown yah..

( Gifts i will surely cherish....)

Stupid ah..

Sometimes i make stupid decisions at work that comes back to haunt me big time. silly silly old me. and sometimes i think too much about how my peers would discern me based on my ability at work, or inability rather. aiz. wats done cannot be undone. so so silly, so so glad i am moving onz.big time. dunnoe wat more stupid things i'll get myself into yahz. frivolous old moi who could have made a more respectable decision. still kicking meself inwardly...probably that's why moi thinks moi is better off doing a simple small biz.. ;p

Totally Crabby

Black Pepper Crabs

Special Yum Paste with Glutinous Rice

Mommie brought us crabs all the way from J.B for dinner. Black Pepper Crabs to be exact. Coupled with fried rice and special "orh ni ". She went shopping, eating with her m.j khakis early morning and packed and dropped the food off on her way to m.j as her m.j khaki stays near our place. Hee hee, totally stuffed with crabs. One big crab each for the dearie and moi. We love our crabs and usually enjoys the dish in the comfort of our house, so that theres no need to worri abt having no image. Still feeling full.. :)

Eastie Moi

The homeland is located within walking distance of great eateries and hawker centres. there's 4 hawker centres in the area, 2 of erm great for foodies looking for night makan. With some famous stalls like minced meat noodles and cheng teng nearby, we have expanded sideways by quite a bit. sobs.

The dearie had already demonstrated his cooking skills by rustling up a simple porridge lunch for us. Instead of eating at one of the 4 hawker centres or the numerous coffeeshops nearby, we decided to venture further out for some fresh sea breeze @ Changi Village..

We saw many families pitching tents, preparing for family bbqs along the beach. its a relaxy kind of surreal feeling that makes me wanna plan for a bbq for the family in the upcoming long break :)

We ended the day with dinner at Charlie's Corner. The fish and chips was better the first time ate there, but i still like the way they freeze their ice in the glasses for serving drinks..the dearie wants to try the 'zhi cha bbq seafood' restaurants the next time we pop by..

(dearie's fish & chips and my grilled fish)

We ended the day with a walk along the weekend flea market. A simple Saturday which marks my last working Saturday at the workplace. time flies. one more week before the long break.

Moi Brownie

I had a box of premix brownie which i bought some time back. Was home early one night, so i decided to bake some brownies. It took like 10-15 mins to add in the ingredients, and baking time of abt 30 mins. And ta da.. easy brownie..


Got the dearie to bring some to office for sharing with the guys and we kept the rest. Totally yums with ice cream.. ;p

The Weekend

Living in the eastside means shopping trips to new heartland malls. one of our favourite hangouts would be Parkway Parade.. pretty ulu when i was a westsider.. we managed to swing by PP for sushi as the dearie was craving for salmon. there's this small japanese supermarket cum eatery that serves cheap fresh sashimi called "fish mart sakuraya". i luv the concept where you have to choose your fish selection at the counter and the chef slices it and serves it up to ya. the selection for other items is rather limited, but the sashimi is okies cheapie..

On Sunday, the dearie cooked lunch for us. yummy yi mian with loads of clams, prawns, crabmeat, pork meat, egg and vegs. coupled with home brewed jui hua cha. tits a great homey meal.

(the dearie's masterpiece)

When the girlfres gave moi an oven last Christmas, i've been toying with the idea of doing some baking. why waste the perfectly good oven, right? especially since i found a Phoon Huat store near the homeland for baking supplies. I started with store bought premix. Now moving on to recipes i found on the web. Feeling quite pleased, although the dearie has to eat my baked items.. ;p

(moi apple muffins)

Quite a typical weekend.. :)

Atas Laksa & Hor Fun

Met up with Fen for dinner yesterday. i'm quite a no heart fre, for i always cannot remember her birthday.. Fen wanted to eat @ Conrad Centennial Hotel. Oscars Restaurant. So we had very ex local cuisine there, with Fen ordering the Laksa and moi having the Beef hor fun.. the entire bill for the meal was almost $90 bucks before discount. (Fen had a $30 voucher, so deduct that away).

(photo taken from my new pink camera.. ;p)

Hee hee, the ambiance of the restaurant was okay, although i thought Aquarmarine at Marina Mandarin was better in terms of value for money.. its actually quite enjoyable to find a great dining place whereby you can chat and catch up over a meal, away from the blustering madness of the city.. our next stop would be The Rose Veranda at Shangri-La Hotel for weekday afternoon english tea, whereby both of us are enjoying the short hiatus from the work life.. fen to study, and moi to the new workplace.. my countdown calender stands at 9.5 more workdays. Hip Hip Horayz. silly old moi.

Pink Camera

Yipee.. after so so so many years, i've finally gotten a camera to call my own ( and the dearie's too.. opps).. and its a pretty bright pink too. quite pleased with my sony T90 ( although i had wanted to the the LX3.. ;p).

hee hee.. many many of us are shopping at the great IT shows, for freebies galore. i got a free dvd player, extra battery etc with my camera.. moi is happie babe ;p

a Sat of Blog Reading

the dearie is away for his ICT and will only be back on Sundayz.. and little old moi made my way to the in-laws place, for the dearie is afraid that lazy moi would be alone..( mummie's on weekend getaway cruise).. i'm blessed, for the mum-in-law and dad-in-law are wonderful people..

without the dearie to cajole for the comp with moi, i've been able to do a fair bit of web-surfing, blog reading. the more blogs i read, the more i feel that babes of the same generation share similar likes/dislikes , desires, aspirations.. so beri much the products of our time..i'll be interesting to follow the blogs thru the decade to see how each person's thoughts have evolved with the tide of time..

at work today, the colleague and moi were whining chatting on the flaws and short comings of the workplace.. and it dawn on me that many a times, our responses reflect the current position we are in. Moi, i am the olddie about to leave in 3 weeks time who could not really be bothered to keep up appearances. the colleague is resigned to status quo and working as a means to earn more money for her own self, the boss is the up and coming mouthpiece of the higher mgt with great hope in climbing the corporate ladder. hence, the need for him to keep up the 'i'm shoulderin the burden of this unit and have to ensure every single thing is in order" kind of attitude. moi, i am the " i am forced to be here because the org has deem it necessarily, so please dun expect too much from me" attitude while the colleague has the " i'm gonna be here for a long time but has no hope for promo in the next few years" attitude. this has shaped our positions and responses to work. so different from my attitude of " i'm here to climb the ladder so i have to be exemplary" kind of behaviour i had when i first joined the unit. this was the same for the old boss, whom had tried very hard to manage the big unit but was found lacking by the big boss. when he finally gave up trying, he was no longer the nervous whack of a mgr he had been in the early days ..well, the old boss was blessed, he's now having a great time at his new posting after being transferred out forcefully.. understanding boss and work life balance.. i truly believe that we are all blessed in diff ways..

hee, am i justifying my lack of effort in keeping up with appearances for this last 3 weeks? oh well, silly old moi is still counting down.. 14 more workdays till the long overdue break.. its now Macao and Korea instead of Genting and Japan.. ;p

of Dining @ KHA

its been some time since i've met up with the babes. its hui's birthday and we met for dinner at KHA restaurant located @ HortPark, Hyderabad Road. its considered a super ulu location for east side moi. Jinny picked moi up from Queenstown MRT. the restaurant turn out to be beri chi chi with its stylish deco and stunning views. ( i so so super miss the street thai seafood items and meals i had on the streets of Bangkok and Changmai..how i miss travelling to Thailand.. ;p).

well, modern thai cuisine to be exact, and an award winning restaurant by hotelier Yenn Wong and hammed by award winning chef Matthew Lawdern. hee hee. the restaurant was fully packed with a mainly expat crowd..

we ordered mains for sharing. we had the crab and prawn cakes which came with mango salad on the side, roasted pork belly ( crispy yum), deep fried soft shell crab in yellow curry. roasted duck red curry, steamed seabass, mixed veg and pineapple fried rice. mango sticky rice to end the meal. the food was great, although i thought the steamed seabass could use abit more sauce and the duck meat could be more tender..

we had drinks thereafter and left after dinner as baby kayson beckon for his mummy..we got hui a pretty coach wristlet for her birthday pressie..the babes are sure getting busy with their lives.. we really should do a ladies only getaway.. like our trip to Bintan for my hen's nite..:)

of Angels and Demons

the day was pretty fulfilling, with moi getting off work at around 1.15pm. thats almost on the dot for a sat. so so rare, i sure hope it lasts. we were able to do a fair bit of shopping ( and burnt quite a hole in my poor pockets) got a pretty dress as moi is currently in the "dress" mode. plus do my eyebrows before catching Angels and Demons on the big screen. been wanting to catch the show and i'm glad i did. i had wanted to catch Ramen Gal without avail..

of all of Dan Brown's books, i liked Angels and Demons the best, and rank it above The Da Vinci Code, for there are elements of good overcoming evil, hope in faith which gives it a more moralistic feel good factor that many can resonate with. and the movie did not disappoint. although the ending could have been better scripted and more depth given to each of the lead characters, esp Ewan Mcgregor's role of camerlengo and the scene of final reckoning. hee hee, now i can't wait for my harry potter and twilight sequels to hit the big screens. yupz, modern wizards, vampires and modern fables of the non-secular fascinates little silly old moi greatly.. ;p

i heart Royal Honey Choya

the Bro has been travelling and he usually buys liqueur at the duty free shop when he lands. mummie gave moi a bottle of Royal Honey Choya that he bought as she had 2 bottles at home. its the first time i'm drinking Choya. Slup. i totally heart the Royal Honey Choya. Sweet honey ume goodness so so yum that i'm a convert.. the dearie finds it a tad sweet, but the sweetness is prefect for moi..hee hee ;p

Beautiful Memories

Beautiful Swiss Alps..Belated Honeymoon Pics

Top of Europe.. the most picturesque place i've ever been too..
if i have a chance to go back again this lifetime, i'm blessed..

Borders between Italy & Switzerland.. Lake District

Milan

Water City Venice

Our Italy and Switzerland journey. its great to be able to travel with my loved ones..

indeed there is beauty in this world, esp in Switzerland. these are the wonderful things in life that keeps me going in the next 2 months ahead.. i so so wanna travel. to escape. 2.5 work days for this week.. i am still counting down..

On the Wish List

Top of the Wish List : Amazon's Kindle 2 , e Book Reader.
Just gotta get one. When will Amazon's selection of ebooks be readily available on our sunny island?

the bookworm in moi wonders..and hopes..

A New Addiction

yupz. i am so so addicted to spreeing and online shopping that the dearie is complaining that i am neglecting him big time. its so different a world we now live in, from the world we were born to 20 plus years ago.

online shopping, spreeing,blogging,facebooking, kindleing, online gaming, you tubing... soon i will feel lost in this complex global village e-world of ours.

still awaiting for my purchases from the States to arrive. my B&B body lotions, cosmetics, clothes from Old Navy and DVDs from US retailers. hee hee..its definitely a more worthwhile way to spend my time pursuing my interests /hobbys then slogging at work for a shitty big boss. at least this is my mantra at this moment. quality of life matters along with my sense of self-worth. i wish i had arrived at this conclusion earlier.

A Melodramatic Week

It was a terrible start to the week. a week at work i rather forget. i admit that there were oversights on my part regarding the matter. the way they made it sound like, i was the one who was 70% at fault while D was 30% at fault. i would accept my shortcomings, for i could have prevented and stopped the matter. but my part in the whole affair was about 30%, yet the whole matter sounded like i was the only one at fault. it was utterly bias and an unfair assessment which i cannot stomach, for it is logic that procedures must be followed. the politics of the workplace and the easy shifting of blame. a session meant to humiliate me in front of so many others. i so wish i could forever be a student..or my own boss, yah..

its a real blessing that i have chosen to move. although the place is slowly becoming totally unbearable. everyday i am there, my spirit is being sapped away in bits and pieces. i would have just throw in the letter, if not for the dearie's advise that i only have months to go. yes, being too rationale and logical is a hindrance too. the new place is not the one i had initially chosen, but under the current circumstances, any place would be great. although i am still pissed that that i should have gotten the position which i had accepted, rather than the unknown which i am forced to accept because of time difference.

i guess. i am glad the week is over, for that signifies one week less to go. the kakis tease that i sound like i am on parole, the way i count the days and weeks and that they do not count, for its life imprisonment for them. i agree. totally. 2 more months to go.

Finally Settled

Taken in Pisa.



Pics taken in Rome..

Time flies, and I've been Mrs Dearie for close to 4 months. In the whirlwind of a time, we've completed the house (yupz, the study room is also almost done) and gone for our lovely honeymoon.

Italy and Switzerland
Words can't adequately describe the beauty of Switzerland with it's snow capped mountains and quint little cottage style houses dotting the landscape. Its really my dream country to settle down in, for the pretty landscape. Lake district, which is the place bordering Italy and Switzerland would be my next choice... :) Tits an expensive eye-opening once in a life time trip for us, an i am sure glad that we choose Italy and Switzerland. i also luv Milan for shopping, chic Italian cosmopolitan city. Venice for its old world charm with a tint of romance. Florence and Rome for the history, art , buildings and culture. Hee hee, managed to buy a branded bag at cheap cheap prices. We also went to Zermatt, Berne, Lucene,Interlarken in Switzerland. Charmy, scenic and clean. Hee hee, really really must save up for more trips aboard and to other countries in Europe. :)

On the work front, the economy is in the doldrums, we are officially in recession, but i'll decided to move move. awaiting for news. i guess there is no right or wrong decision in this instance, and i;ve decided not to regret my decision. be it right or wrong. guess i just have to move on if its wrong. current job is just not me. period. so, for long term self actualization, i've gotta gotta move move. will update if things have been settled.

Carpe Diem

The recent ecomonic crisis and the global unrest has brought many a thoughts to my mind.
you'll never noe when the flame is sniffed out from the candle of life.
If you noe you just have one more day ahead, wat will ya do?
Sieze the day, i'll say.
The little boss is posting out, changes abound.
i'm increasingly finding the workplace unbearable.
dun think i'm able to stick it out much longer.
if i only have a life, i wanna do something i luv, else something bearable yah.

Numbness

a tad hurt at her nonchalance regarding the wedding,
maybe i hurt her with my betrayal, our easy acceptance of him.
the ease in welcoming him back into our lives.
bro says she was deeply hurt. by our betrayal.
maybe our views on the subject matter are not aligned. given our positions.
at this point in time, with the wedding upcoming, it does not matter much anymore.
my heart is kinda immure, from the many rounds of battering.
i am unable to discuss the matter with her, the lack of interest from her.
the dear says i've been affected, with my unconscious venting of frustrations over small matters.
i wonder how long i can keep the facade up?
that everything is progressing well unilaterally.
for every non response cuts at the fabric of the whole. i act cheerful, i joke, when tears are welling up within. time after time.
in retrospect, i could have handled confessions better.
but, keeping too much secrets is a burden on itself. i felt relieved, to have come clean on the matter. or perhaps, some things are best left unsaid. as i have learn the hard way.
why? does the ties of kin fade with the passage of time?
sometimes i wonder, what constitutes significant to her?
or perhaps, the hurt i caused her, is the most significant aspect of the issue.