Thoughts on a normal day

Seems like I am finding writing a good way to destress.. just got my work e-mail yesterday..i was truely excited to finally be able to get down to serious work.. except..sometimes i feel this job requires a great amt of initiative. promptness and efficeiency when i find myself lacking in.. hmm..it would be hard to stand out amongst the large no of talents waiting to excel and be noticed..guess part of me is highly ambitious..while part of me is highly contented wif the status quo..well... I'll just have ta take each day as it comes..

..although now I'm coughing myself into fits and rubbing my nose till its peeling.. hope I'm not coming down wif something serious.. had a lazy off day today..lazed around in bed watching vcd..trying to lose myself in the unreal..to escape the mandates of everday life.. went out for dinner at Geylang..the porriage wif frog legs was yummy and den i had drinks at Cosy Bay at Stadium Cove.. never realised that the riverside could be so scenice wif splashes of pink illustrated over the darkening sky.. definately a great place to chill and forget abt everything.. Sick but Relaxed..till tomorrow..another working day.. :)

Resolutions?!

Well..writing about resolutions at this timing certainly seems a tad late..but oh well...Time seems to fly and before I knew it..gosh..January 2005 was already coming to an end..before I even had time to reflect adequely on 2004.. 2004 was a year of major changes..a milestone? not really..but worth remembering..struggled wif my honours year..completed my thesis..finished my last sem as a student, slacking for the longest time possible while attempting to find a job..travelled extensively ( Thailand, Malaysia and China..)..and finally..getting a permenant job as the year draws to a close.

Hmm..training at the acadamy for 2 mths..starting shiftwork at the checkpoint and maintaining a decent social life..golly..time just flew by...and before I knew it..Jan was ending too.. Celebrated countdown wif the galpals at Wala wala..felt quite blessed that things are going well and I have my jie meis wif me..consistency?! .. permenent fixtures..i sure hope so..although shiftwork sure makes it difficult for me to meet up wif them..and I can't go for holidays as and when i wan.. It is also a year i found companionship and i wan it to remain the same in the new year..

Resolutions?? I tend to make them religiously year by year..but do I really acheive them? ..hmm..thats another story yah..
2005 would be a year of work : for my probation lasts till Oct and I wanna get my confirmation.. a year for family: to treat my family better and not take them for granted..to control my temper..to visit my dad.. a year for friends: friendships need effort to maintain and I will not neglect my friends.. a year for luv: enjoy the moment..wat will be will be..wat is not mine i cannot retain.. a year for fun: get my driving license..excercise more..oh and acheive my resolutions?! dah!

fortune telling anyone?

Recalled that recently I was at MOS Burger wif my friend when a stranger came up to him and offered to read his fate..this chinaman who started looking at my friend's face..he went like this"..I have a secret that I want to share wif you today..".. being the nice friend that I am..hee..i just stood by while he was being conned by the obviously bogus fortune teller..hmm..(wonder when my friend will start disowning me?!)..and i remembered being appalled that my rational friend would believe in something so unscientific and totally vague, untrue,inaccurate..until one fine day when my colleague brought her set of tarot cards to class and started being the friendly class fortunte teller..silly old me could not resist temptation and joined in the fun..hmm..I was asking abt Love..and when the cards revealled a less than wonderful prediction..my heart sank..and i remembered being quite affected by her words for the whole day..although I kept telling myself that it's probably not true..and that I am in control of my fate..hee..just thats the funny part abt the future and the lure of having a peek into it..is its uncertainity and our own desire for certainity that causes us to be so affected by it i guess..hee..so will you have your fortune told?

wanderlust..my on my..

The end of one week..signifying the beginning of a new one in hours to come..time flies when one is working and trying to juggle, maintain a half decent social life. finally had the time to sit down and read some papers..Sumiko wrote a rather touching article on the simple things in life..how something mandane can actually be the most momerable points of life..moments of absolute simpleness that you will forever look back upon.. could'nt help agreeing..but when I saw Brenda's blog on her travels as an air stewardess .. my wanderlust surfaces..London looks whimsical and breathtaking..and the other countries on my list..vertican city..japan..europe.. hmm..the jet-setting life..the simple life? Or am i just envious? Life wise..things are going great..still in training..although counting down to my OJT.. and finally giving myself a chance to experience the ups and downs..hmm..if only things can stay at this moment in time..but then..there is always my wanderlust.. :)

When it hits ya it hits ya

Some mentality that we have about things we carry wif us our whole life..expecting it to remain the same for ever and ever..then something happens..it forces you to rethink..re-evaluate...whether to let yourself try...without trying you will never know..but do you really ever want to know? something that starts out beautifully may not end beautifully...a coward...thats what I am..to me..each step is a difficult step..why? comfort zone...to get out of your comfort zone exposes you to new changes..new risks..but maybe you can reap rewards beyond your imagination..so the issue here...is that there is really no issue..sometimes things move at such a fast speed that you are caught unprepared...so you go wif the flow..swept away by the currents...and you just can hope that you dun drown in the process. If you stop to let yourself think..you start to question too much...to worry too much..and you will never allow yourself to make that jump..to have the chance to get to the other side of the river..hmm..wonder how does the other side look like..hmm..

there's sad and there's sadness

what's life and why is it so complex at times?..Was rather angry at my uncle for some issue he had wif my mum..and both sides of the family became quite distant..so when i received news that he suffered a stroke..think it was this invisible wall that acted as a shield against any emotions..but...my wall started to crumble when i heard that my aunt actually hit him because of money matters..never can image that such a thing could happen..that someone would actually attack a defendless person..the scarey thing is that the person should have been the one closest to ya..hmm..leaves you wondering about the choices that we make in life..the people we meet in life..and my own reaction to the whole thing...drama drama drama..life can be such a big drama at times..to have this invisible wall acting as a shield i have come to realise..protects ya against all emotions...when this wall crambles...your defences are slowly being eaten away..and you become vulnerable...you cry buckets..you remember the affection he has show ya...and you empathise..when that happens..you wanna step in to do something..and then you realise that there is so little you can do...so you start feeling useless all over again..life...as it is.. we make our choices ...once the bed has been made...its your bed..and me? I'm making mine..and standing beside yours.