Tennis tennis

Yupee... i got myself a tennis racket.. or rather, my dearie boy paid for it.. so tat dah.. I'm the pround owner of a "Prince" tennis racket that costs $94 after discount.. of which dearie can claim $50 from the co. as staff welfare benefits.. Opps.. Its our tennis racket.. although i'm the one using it.. ;p Been playing tennis with the sec gang kinda often.. my arms ache.. but excerise is great for a lazy bum cum tv addict like moi.. having the club membership was a good choice yah..

ha ha.. think im moving into my slack mode.. i no longer aspire to be a high flyer in my job.. like taking a back seat.. performing better than others no longer matter as much.. simply because i realise i dun feel any passion for my job at the moment.. a hard decision to make.. to stay or to move on? the money's stable.. and will be more so.. so its harder to move.. i guess.. and my mummy's advice is that i should stay put.. for wat more can i ask for?.... Oh well.. i'll give myself till the mid of next year to make a choice.. sso im pretty much trying to do other stuff.. like swim.. play tennis .. learn driving .. and many more.. sian.. on course tom..

Work and more work

Guess my blog must be one of the most neglected ones on cyberspace yah.. have gotten round to getting someone to fix my labtop yet.. must do.. soon.. Life is kinda settled.. used to life without the kakis.. kinda in limbo.. waiting for my next posting.. yet thinking that I could actually get used to the pace of shift work.. the extra allowance is great money for a struggling church mouse like me with a great shopping itch..

Although these days i find myself struggling with my ecas and the extra responsibilities.. i just wanna run away from it all.. life seems peaceful without the add ons in the first year.. sometimes i ponder whether is it worth it? the extras? i really dunnoe.. i guess you can classify me as someone who works to live and not lives to worl.. or at least i have not found my calling in work yet... Oh well.. fingers crossed.. that i can do some HR and training or admin finance .. rather than operations.. which really is not my forte.. Really...

Sian.. leave freeze for the next 3 months... really looking forward to Oct.. i wanna clear all my leave in one shot.. and satisfy my travel lust in the process... Oh well.. its a whole day of course , dialogue and work tom.. Jia you.. to moi.. :)

Proximity Fres & Quarter life crisis

Was supposed to meet collegues for dinner at Brewrekz today and was actually kinda looking forward to it, but Mel was feeling kinda tired so i cancelled as well.. for the thought of forced conversations chills me..esp wif other pple i dun know well.. Am i anti social by natural? just read somewhere abt depression for the young.. how sufferers shut themselves at home and slowly ends up cutting themselves out from the outside world.. Advice given: accept all invitations.. Easy given.. hard to follow. Nah... I'm just feeling down.. Why?

hmm... Work pals come and go.. esp at work where staff are posted ont monthly.. Guess I'm feeling down coz mine kakis at work are posting out tom.. their last day at wlds..I feel fatigue.. in having to form new bonds and making new fres, partially becoz of the speed in posting. I foresee lonely lunches n dinners whereby I will retreat into a corner at the rest room.. no more kopi chat sessions at work.. breakfast breaks. having company made the horrible food bearable.. now? the canteen food simply sucks.. big time.

Proximity fres.. as I have read before.. you become close to them because you are constantly in their company. Its the distance thingy. Once out of sight, out of mind. Reality is sinking in that Mal and Peng are such. many factors to.. peng would be in Charlie.. and that timing i would be meeting dearie and mel would be busy wif her new found romance and the timing would clash to as L is in Alpha. Great foresight tells me that we would never meet .. though mel and peng still can i guess. Perhaps too.. that wall which i have built to protect myself will become thicker will very phrase..

Perhaps that's life.. you meet diff pple during diff points in time.. and to be grateful for that. or perhaps i am sadden too that I've not met up wif han and hui for sometime. Everyone's very busy i guess.. coping wif their jobs, romances . This leaves me to ponder... have the Girly gang i used to call my own , proximity girly pals too? I admit, I dun make fres easily.. unlike the the other pastries who are more extroverted. Hmm.. Guess on the surface, one can indeed seen to have many fres.. but veri little soul mates. Hmm.. am i complaining? or suffering from quarter life crisis again?! Periodically?! Or simply depressed but in self denial?! I miss my uni days wif the Pastries n ens pple.. thankfully at least i have my dearie now..

Wonderfully Valentine's

Just felt like thanking my Jing, who made valentine's so sweet and momerable. I appreciate the effort.. although he constantly tells me he is a non-romantic person.. i see the effort.. i really do.. and love the beautiful roses .. pink and purple..and the lovely words on the card. The wonderful dinner at Chimes.. surrounded by soft Candle lights, music, alfesco styled ..slipping Sangria and glazing at him.. life can be so surreal.
Thanks thanks Boy.. for being there for me.. for cheering me up when I am down, for making me laugh and for thinking the world of me.. Only you do.. for I am just an ordinary gal who also happens to be rather lazy.. a slacker and great procrastinator. I promise, in 2006, to to less lazy and I will get down to buying your V.Day gift. Blue Donkey sits by my bedside table.. keeping me comfort in the nights.
March is indeed tiring... being at C. Room and having to deploy so many staff..and having to report to work super early.. A month where my kakis at work will start their second posting.. So hectic.. so many changes... but I look forward to watching "Army Daze" at National Library soon.. and the corporate movie screening.. Plus.. I really must not slack my whole off days away.. I promise.. to fill my life with more forfilling activities. yah?!

Hmmm.... hello 2006?

Not really a great way to kick start 2006...and my first entry of the year.. been feeling kinda sluggish... Work is okay.. settled and bonding well wif Melody and Sis Peng.. for me.. life's great.. starting to invest.. work is on track.. i am happy wif my dearie.. and i get to sleep tons on my off days... only sadness tinggling me would be the fact that Meloday and Peng plus the gang of robin and cedric have all gotten their posting preference... ie.. they will be posted out soon... hump.. kindda sad to noe that my kakis for Kopi breaks and gossip sessions are leaving doon.. by Apr.. remour has it.. and then some will be at HQ and others at extreme ends of the island.. seems like most things in life gets rather transient... oh well... I'll be posting out end 2006 or bend 2007 too...

that aside.. wat mekes me melocronic this feb day is the news that one of my JC fres passed away today.. of Cancer.. yah.. we sort of expected him to leave soo... he looked so frail and was struggling with every breathe he takes... he had looked totally a diff .. worn out version of his former self... burkets of tears had been shed the last time we visted him in the hospic... a young man amindst the other older Cancer patients... but weirdly... today i only feel a slight tingle of sadness... and i was thinking.. maybe life can be so simple after all.. to lower down my expectations.. to have time to smell the air of fallen after the rain.. to so the many things i hold dear.. to confrom less to societal demands... and be proactive in doing the things i've always wanted to do.. for myself and for my beloved ones.. i wanna take time to tell them how much i value their presence in my life... would my existence in life be tangible? would pple remember me ? Melody has also have had expereince great sadness in her life when her loved one left her after a short short moment which they shared together... hmm... but i guess... in the end... all sadness gets washed away with the passenge of time..no?!

The Price of Beauty

Guess wat i did? Yup.. I went to have those tiny bits of black dots removed.. the lady at the salon seemde quite nice.. she was telling me wat all the black dots represent.. a bit zen and quite like a fortunte-telling session.. it still hurts a fair bit when she uses the needle to poke at my face.. trying to get the cream in.. afterwhile my face was pretty red for quite a while.. the whole thing was rather fast.. slightly over half an hour and I'm done with the treatment.. although it did burn a deep hole in my pockets.. and i walked out wif spots of whit cream shattered all over my face.. think I must have scared quite a number of people who met me.. and poor ck.. who had to put up with my freaky face..

oh .. that is just the begining man.. the next day i had to work ( oh.. i really wanted to take urgent leave..) .. the white cream has washed off and now my black spots.. have become even bigger black spots.. and i looked like i had just recovered from a blot of chicken pox.. oh.. think i gave my boss quite a shock when i talked to him about something.. he kinda went black for a while... oh.... and now.. as i seat typing this... my face is covered wif cream.. hoping that the burn spots will go away..... keep my fingers crossed.. otherwise you will soon see a gal walking to ya wif great black spots on her face... so ugly.. yucks.. think i am freaking myself out too... am.. my mum still dosen't noe about it...oh... god bless..

Facials

Just went for my third facial during my off day yesterday... that set me thinking about Facials.. deemed to be extremely beneficial to the skin and adored by ladies all round.. hmm... to me.. it also represents two extremes.. hump... wat do i mean? Extremely relaxing and extremely painful.. When the beautician takes her tools and start poking at ya with the tweezers and unknown scary tools .. (well... my eyes were closed yah).. you feel as if you have reached your threshold of pain... Ouch! I can still feel the dread that fills me when i know that she has reached that unbearable stage of the treatment..

Extreme Bliss.. the other 1hr ++ where you truely feel relaxed and pampered under the beautician's skillful arms... Zzzz... You can easily fall asleep.. with the cold cold mask covering you.. the aircon blowing .. music in the background.. and the massaging on your face and body...oh.. truely haven... So, a facial for ya?? It does wonders for ya skin and burns a great hole in your pocket.. oh.. till my next facial..;p

"Big Long Now "

Yupee... I finally finished watching my "Big Long Now" .. It was 70 episodes.. and being the drama addict that i can be... phew... I've finished watching it.. Great ending.. the typical korean drama where everything ends well..with the heroine ending up happy wif the hero.. but.. hey.. she is the more capable than her man yah..kindda good a show to watch if you are feminist... " Why is a woman's status always lower than man?"

... Thank god I'm a morden gal living in morden gal Singapore.. although sometimes i still think the status quo and the gender issuse reminds deeply embedded even against this morden backdrop.. like the lower quota for female medical students.. less welfare benefits for female employees.. and even in the family.. I still vividly rem when i was younger... my parent used to say in hokkien " give birth to chicken egg you dun.. but shit you do" and words like " if you cannot study... go work in a factory" .. Now years later.. in a weird way.. i've finally proved that I'm the more brainy child to him.. that I could also study and earn as much.. if not more than my bro.. weird.. why am i suddenly recounting these memories from my childhood? When i have always known that he prefered my bro to me.. Hump.. must be the hodes of people outside kranji i saw today.. i kept thinking that i would see his face in the crowd of uncles exiting after the races.. oh well..

Chalet chalet and my usual musings

Yup... I just slept and slept and slept for hours today.. Totally absolutely decadent.. It's one of those days you wake up and dress for work noeing that you just wanna come back home immediately after..din even remember to wear my earrings and just slipped on a pair of flat shoes.. yup.. its one of those days.. maybe its biological...my aunty just wears me down.. oh..

Aunty decided to make her appearance at the last day of my chalet.. hee.. yup.. just came back from a short holiday ay Downtown East.. Din really do much except slacking... the B.B.Q was wonderful.. we brought just enough food and it was kindda fun trying to prevent the food from burning..yummy.. and we went cyclying too.. the weather was great.. din get to swim though.. i forgot my swimsuit.. Opps.. and I was nursing a really horrid face with lots of scarring after my facial....Ouhh... ( i can still feel the pain as Cindy tried to squeeze everything out.. but thats another story yah..) hmm... its back to work ..work and work..till my next break!!

Passed my law exams.. happy.. at least I dun have to study for it again...and will not be on the look-out for a new job so soon.. ha ha.. almost 9 months in the organization.. i can just imagine my mum freaking out if i even look through the pages of Recruit.. ah...... the ever stable near Iron-rice bowl (or the closet one to it ...) that the older generation thinks is most important.. *hump*.....oh well... at least July is bonous month.. means retail therapy yah.. :) Oh... I'm a complusive shopaholic.... and its no coincidence that the book I'm currently reading is titled " Confessions of a Shopaholic"!! .. Which reminds me.. its time to get back to my book... I still have a very thick Harry potter book to get through ..

Allo July

Wow... July is here..Have graduated for nearly one year.. Cheerios to moi for having survived one year.. went to Chinatown yesterday .. the area is quite a nice place to hide from the maddening weekend crowd. have chocolate fondue from Village.. a Marche like resturant at China Square.. Yup.. my first choc fondue!! Great nite off, felt relaxed although I still have tons of work to settle.. and that presentation...ha ha.. and except for the unfortunate incident at the lift landing.. opps.. tougues are gonna wag.. oh..no..
Yup..... Work and leisure balance.. I wanna enjoy July!!!

Silly old me

.. Just returned from a course.. sign*.. have yet to get started on the presentation i'm supposed to be workin on.. lazy lazy procrastinator... *i shld attempt my hardest to finish my tasks on time.. chop chop.. Yah.. gonna be my last few days at chops.. finally dun have to wake up so early anymore.. meet up wif the ens pple for ktv that day.. shocking.. so many uob bankers amongst them.. jinny.. novan..andrew n melvin.. oh.. a growing list.. quite funny actually.. we used to sing ktv in our casual student attire.. nowadays.. all are dressed in the working man's attire..signalling our transition into working class world... seems like yest when we were all gathered outside parliment building taking our grad photos.. hmm... time flies.. jinny commented that maybe one day be would be in our ah ma attire.. being helped into the rm by our grandchildren.. ha ha.. scary.. can't imagine..

... *sign.. think i feel fatigue at times.. work fatigue? i dunnoe too.. hope to take a short breather soon.. hmm... guess my slacker side is domineering huh.. sad too that our batch seems so segregated at times.. or maybe we just dun click? oh... guess i have to learn that its okay this way... ahhh.. should i get started on my presentation slides??!!

Thoughts on a lazy Mon

Hmm... seems like i'm still stuck to my cable shows.. my HK serials .. Current fav being this show on swimming... *sign* I wanna go swimming soon.. Discovery Travel and Living is my next fav.. City Cabs.. Globe Trekker.. how i wish i was the one travelling to those exoctic places... Oh.. But we will always have alot of wans in life ..yah..?!

Been reading Blogs.. getting insights to how my friends have been... Glad to see some innovative ones and i can definately identify wif certain thoughts.. and gripples abt life.. Guess that is something common for Soci students.. haven really been able to attend gatherings becoz of my work shedule.. sadz.. But hmm.. guess many of us are dealing wif the same problems as befitting our social class and age group.. finding that all impt stable job.. most end up not challenging the status quo and becoming faithful civil servants.. So where have all our ideals abt changing the system gone? I find myself not remebering much abt what I've learnt for the past 4 years as I learn new things relating to my job.. Hoep to meet up wif the class soon..

.. May and june are birthday months.. given the busy shedule that we have as working adults.. you often end up meeting your fres for special occasions.. oh.. met up wif Xinhui recently.... was not feeling well that day.. but i still met up wif her.. am glad i did.. guess i never knew that both of us have realised the change and distance we felt wif Han.. My eyes felt like tearing as i lamented abt the changes.. hmm.. to a certain extent.. i do feel that ive lost a fre i treasured.. but.. somehow.. i believe that its temp.. and a phrase that she will have to get over and we'll always be there for her.. although our careers and paths have differed greatly.. i still wan the old han back.. how i wish we were back at uni days.. Perhaps things will be better wif she can find someone who will treasure her for the great gal that she really is.. ah.. but i'm glad xinhui is back wif xinming.. she's another busy bee.. happy wif her new co. and job.. wonder when we will be meeting to celebrate her b.day.. At least i already got her present ready

I'll be meeting Fenfen and Wenyun later.. celebrating fen's birthday.. seems like a ritural we do yearly.. abt this time.. and we'll all noe that its to celebrate her b.day.. wonder when is the next harry Potter movie coming up.. its another girlie ritural for us.. :)

Time flies

I'm back.. not a veri consistant blogger am i..been some time since i have written..finally tore myself away from the lure of my cable tv shows.. think i'm in danger of becoming a tv addiict.. :)

... Was reading serene and lili's blog.. glad to noe that I'm not the only one copping wif changes after the mortar board.. strange huh..the amazing rate that time seems to fly.. wat was i doing this time last year? At bangkok.. Changmai or china wif my pals.. looking back..that period seems so transcient... wink... blink.. and its gone... those days of doing nothing..fresh out of school wif dreams and expectations.. i wonder how is the rest of the class getting along.. hope we really can manage to form a table for Aug.. think it will be quite cool.. class of 2004.. can get to see the usual suspects den..

hee.. am chatting wif puppy as i write this.. she's gonna go Perminpin this long weekend.. just came back frm jerankang too.. heee.... so lucky.. wish i could join her.. miss Jerankang alot.. and Sam's food.. am drooling just thinking of his famous herbal chix wif wine.. yummy.. but think physically i wun be able to last ..ha ha.. if only i can cheat and just join them at the camp sites..

Past few months seems to fly.. at least now i no longer have the weight for studying for the Law exams on my hands.. keep my fingers crossed.. otherwise i may have to study for it again one more time.. yucks.. just came back from KL wif ck.. the hotel was quite okay.. bukit bintang was just nearby .. but time when you are not working always seens veri short.. I wonder when will i be able to take a longer break? ha ha.. hmm...oh no..someone is shaking head liao.. ;p

Work and Play

Its been nearly 2 mths since my posting at the checkpts..seems like i'm truely a slow learner. I still make the most unforgivable mistakes..makes me ponder..am i really suited for this job? Or am i not making enough effort? Neber one to do many things concurrently..i guess i will have to learn to cope, after all, its my bread and butter here... and the organization is so small and compertitive.

Time seems to fly..feb is ending.. and i seem not to have acheievd much in this new year.. no time to watch my Vcds..to excersie (or am i just lazy..) ..and to learn driving.. still remb last time this year i was struggling wif my thesis..how fast everything changes. feb certaintly has its wonderful moments..v day was great for i apprecaite the effort and thought put in.. although i was working on the day itself.. Shift work can truely be quite damaging on sleeping patterns..for i feel myself sleeping more and more.. looking forward to mar..for i finally get to take a short holidae..oh well..when can i take a full fledged one?!.. Got a presenation tom..Sianz .. and thoughts on my upcoming Law exam in Apr..i thought i have already said goodbye to my study days?!

work work and more work..

Just got my uniform altered recently..quite pleased to hear lots of compliments frm collegues that i look smart in blue.. overall the uniform is still too big for me and my pants are still too auntie.. arh.. have to wear pants on my nite shift soon.. sad..i still dun understand how a product that is tailored and supposed to be made according to my measurements be so unfitting.. wat is the rational in having it tailored if i have to end up getting it altered again? Might as well have sizes and i alter myself..more efficent that way..oh well.. just a thought but at least now i dun have to worry abt wat clothes i have to wear to work each day.. den again.. gives me more reason to buy new casual clothes..
..haiz.. really dunnoe where all my money goes to each month..think I'm a spendtriff.. i buy too much clothes..too much useless staff and hmm.. now..where else did my money go.. must really start budgeting and planning for some investments.. wooh.. alot of things i wanna do.. huh.. but i guess wat is most pressing is to get a hang of the operations as well as the admin side of things.. must really jia you.. think its not easy..many pple judging you..assessing you.. tom is another working day.. more complex relations between co-workers.. :)

When a molehill became a mountain

Something happened at work recently that made me truely realise that the working world is indeed not the same as the study world i use to inhabit.. I was put on duty wif another person and we were short handed that nite... although I was hasitant abt being left on my own when my partner goes for his rest..i gamely agreed to take on the challenge.. but.. my collegue..being the kind person that he is..refused to go take his rest at the allocated time.. he stayed on to help me..in case there are cases that I cannot handle.. i was grateful.. and mentioned it to the person in charge of the roster that Mr Ng refused to go and rest..

I went to work the following nite feeling cheery..i saw on the roster that instead of putting 2 person like the previous..there was an additional person deployed there.. so i innocently commented that..heyz..tonite I'm put as understudy again.. and my boss also pop by and ask me how i was coping.. but later on i realised..to my dismay and absolute shock..people are commenting that the additional manpower was deployed there becouse I could not handle my work..thata why they need to put so many pple at such a easy place.. my heart sank.. and i was truely depressed that whole nite.. i mean... Mr Ng refused to go and rest dispite my constant asking..and his kindness has resulted in me being labelled as incompetent..and him feeling gulity for causing me so much trouble...haiz.. how can people make judgements without understanding the entire story..how can something so simpe be so distorted..its truely scarely ...come to think of it..that messages get distorted as it passes frm person to person.. I may be a slow learner..but i do put in effort to learn my wk and to be labelled as incompetent for no reason leaves me sad and angry..think the wking world is too complex..wonder how and i going to survive the next few decades huh..

Thoughts on a normal day

Seems like I am finding writing a good way to destress.. just got my work e-mail yesterday..i was truely excited to finally be able to get down to serious work.. except..sometimes i feel this job requires a great amt of initiative. promptness and efficeiency when i find myself lacking in.. hmm..it would be hard to stand out amongst the large no of talents waiting to excel and be noticed..guess part of me is highly ambitious..while part of me is highly contented wif the status quo..well... I'll just have ta take each day as it comes..

..although now I'm coughing myself into fits and rubbing my nose till its peeling.. hope I'm not coming down wif something serious.. had a lazy off day today..lazed around in bed watching vcd..trying to lose myself in the unreal..to escape the mandates of everday life.. went out for dinner at Geylang..the porriage wif frog legs was yummy and den i had drinks at Cosy Bay at Stadium Cove.. never realised that the riverside could be so scenice wif splashes of pink illustrated over the darkening sky.. definately a great place to chill and forget abt everything.. Sick but Relaxed..till tomorrow..another working day.. :)

Resolutions?!

Well..writing about resolutions at this timing certainly seems a tad late..but oh well...Time seems to fly and before I knew it..gosh..January 2005 was already coming to an end..before I even had time to reflect adequely on 2004.. 2004 was a year of major changes..a milestone? not really..but worth remembering..struggled wif my honours year..completed my thesis..finished my last sem as a student, slacking for the longest time possible while attempting to find a job..travelled extensively ( Thailand, Malaysia and China..)..and finally..getting a permenant job as the year draws to a close.

Hmm..training at the acadamy for 2 mths..starting shiftwork at the checkpoint and maintaining a decent social life..golly..time just flew by...and before I knew it..Jan was ending too.. Celebrated countdown wif the galpals at Wala wala..felt quite blessed that things are going well and I have my jie meis wif me..consistency?! .. permenent fixtures..i sure hope so..although shiftwork sure makes it difficult for me to meet up wif them..and I can't go for holidays as and when i wan.. It is also a year i found companionship and i wan it to remain the same in the new year..

Resolutions?? I tend to make them religiously year by year..but do I really acheive them? ..hmm..thats another story yah..
2005 would be a year of work : for my probation lasts till Oct and I wanna get my confirmation.. a year for family: to treat my family better and not take them for granted..to control my temper..to visit my dad.. a year for friends: friendships need effort to maintain and I will not neglect my friends.. a year for luv: enjoy the moment..wat will be will be..wat is not mine i cannot retain.. a year for fun: get my driving license..excercise more..oh and acheive my resolutions?! dah!

fortune telling anyone?

Recalled that recently I was at MOS Burger wif my friend when a stranger came up to him and offered to read his fate..this chinaman who started looking at my friend's face..he went like this"..I have a secret that I want to share wif you today..".. being the nice friend that I am..hee..i just stood by while he was being conned by the obviously bogus fortune teller..hmm..(wonder when my friend will start disowning me?!)..and i remembered being appalled that my rational friend would believe in something so unscientific and totally vague, untrue,inaccurate..until one fine day when my colleague brought her set of tarot cards to class and started being the friendly class fortunte teller..silly old me could not resist temptation and joined in the fun..hmm..I was asking abt Love..and when the cards revealled a less than wonderful prediction..my heart sank..and i remembered being quite affected by her words for the whole day..although I kept telling myself that it's probably not true..and that I am in control of my fate..hee..just thats the funny part abt the future and the lure of having a peek into it..is its uncertainity and our own desire for certainity that causes us to be so affected by it i guess..hee..so will you have your fortune told?

wanderlust..my on my..

The end of one week..signifying the beginning of a new one in hours to come..time flies when one is working and trying to juggle, maintain a half decent social life. finally had the time to sit down and read some papers..Sumiko wrote a rather touching article on the simple things in life..how something mandane can actually be the most momerable points of life..moments of absolute simpleness that you will forever look back upon.. could'nt help agreeing..but when I saw Brenda's blog on her travels as an air stewardess .. my wanderlust surfaces..London looks whimsical and breathtaking..and the other countries on my list..vertican city..japan..europe.. hmm..the jet-setting life..the simple life? Or am i just envious? Life wise..things are going great..still in training..although counting down to my OJT.. and finally giving myself a chance to experience the ups and downs..hmm..if only things can stay at this moment in time..but then..there is always my wanderlust.. :)